in many cases, these couples are stuck because despite many attempts at finding resolution some of their problems just don’t seem to go away.â  they come in because they are fed up of the lack of change, stuck in a vicious cycle, and are now considering separating.â  this is what couples therapy experts, john and julie gottman, call a perpetual problem.â  by definition, a perpetual problem is one that is recurring and difficult to resolve.â  interestingly, the gottmans’ research has …

when thinking about conflict in a relationship, it is important to ascertain whether a problem is solvable or perpetual. these problems are grounded in the fundamental differences that any two people face. instead of solving perpetual problems, what seems to be important is whether or not a couple can establish a dialogue about them. in today’s post, we want to take the opportunity to explain the difference between a solvable problem, a perpetual problem, and a gridlocked perpetual problem.

the …

kelli miller is a psychotherapist, author, and tv/radio host based in los angeles, california. kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. kelli was a host on la talk radio, a relationship expert for the examiner, and speaks globally. she received her msw (masters of social work) from the university of pennsylvania and a ba in sociology/health from the university of florida.

there are 10 references cited in this article, …

in other words, the perpetual conflicts in your relationship may symbolize a profound difference between you and your partner’s personality and lifestyle preferences. without exerting control over freewheeling thoughts, your dreams offer you new and exciting insights into your life. it is even more frustrating to analyze the ways in which your dreams conflict with those of your mate when you don’t know what those dreams are. dr. gottman’s research found a simple (and enjoyable) way to help you navigate …

q: my boyfriend and i rarely fight — and when we do, it seems to always come back to the same issue. you’re describing the frustration and challenge of dealing with an issue in a relationship where partners have very different perspectives and preferences about something that’s important to one or both of them. in fact, there probably isn’t a couple on the planet that doesn’t have some version of this question to grapple with at some point in their …