kelli miller is a psychotherapist, author, and tv/radio host based in los angeles, california. kelli also facilitates groups for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction as well as anger management groups. kelli was a host on la talk radio, a relationship expert for the examiner, and speaks globally. she received her msw (masters of social work) from the university of pennsylvania and a ba in sociology/health from the university of florida.
there are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. this article received 21 testimonials and 85% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. whether you try to rebuild the relationship or you decide to end things, learn how you can heal and move on. sometimes this may mean changing jobs or moving to a new town. when you’re ready to talk about what happened, tell your partner how you feel and set boundaries for acceptable behavior outside of the relationship.
“trying to get even keeps your anger alive, and keeps you in a state of negativity, which will prevent you from moving on and going forward in your life,” says jane greer, phd, a new york-based relationship expert and author of how could you do this to me? while dealing with this new reality and learning how to get over being cheated on may be scary, think of it as a chance for you to start over. playing the victim will keep you feeling helpless and damaged, and it will continue to keep you feeling bad about yourself,” says dr. greer. but it’s your choice whether the relationship is worth salvaging and repairing or not.
you’re the only person who can decide whether you want to continue being in the relationship or not.” remember, this is your life. your marriage is already different, and “the way things were” is what led to the situation at hand. “if you decide to walk away from the relationship, at least you can leave with peace of mind that you tried your best to make it work and didn’t act impulsively,” says burns. you can’t make rational decisions, such as whether to stay or leave, when you’re not taking care of your physiological needs.” make sure to eat, exercise, sleep, and have fun. the process, like life, is fluid and unique to you.” be patient with yourself as you try to figure out what to do next.
confront your partner about their infidelity. this will allow them the opportunity to plead their case with be honest with your partner. by not being honest with yourself and your partner, you’re doing nothing but perpetuating the deception. if you use “i” statements and speak openly about what you’re feeling without making them feel like you’re only bringing this up to remind them of what they’ve done, how to stop overthinking after being cheated on, percentage of relationships that work after cheating, cheating partner signs, cheating partner signs, my husband is cheating on me how can i catch him.
laugh and live a happy life despite what’s going on. try coping techniques like therapy, meditation, writing in a journal, hanging with for the partner who had the affair, there is work to do regarding lack of connection or communication – “most of the time, they’ve had some need that hasn’t 1. work through your feelings 2. don’t blame yourself. it’s all too easy to blame yourself for what happened, but you’re not responsible for, my husband is cheating on me, what should i do, 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse, how to ignore a cheating husband, sample letter to cheating husband,, my husband cheated and i can’t get over it, what to say to your cheating husband, how to leave a cheating husband you love, how to hurt a cheating husband, 10 common marriage reconciliation mistakes to avoid after infidelity, how to deal with a cheating husband biblically. here are a few important actions to take together that can help repair your relationship.make sure there is remorse.be honest about why it happened.remove temptations to re-engage with the affair.move forward with brutal honesty and care.be selective about who you tell.consider working with a licensed therapist.
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