there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. although it’s speculative on my part to state this, i’m going to assume that, given a choice, most of you would want a loving connection, like the na’vi have, rather than an open relationship in which the emphasis is on self-expression, need fulfillment, and multiple experiences. to my mind, and perhaps yours as well, the idea of two partners growing together in intimacy makes for a much more interesting movie than a film about an open marriage. an affair and an open marriage are worst-case “solutions” for unresolved marital problems and confusion about what a marriage is and what it’s not. seven symbolizes divine wholeness and completion like the seven days of the week or the seven lamps in the holy temple. i believe this ritual, the movie avatar, the overwhelming failure of open marriages, and our innate sense of what’s true all point to the same direction: marriage must be a closed relationship to achieve the na’vi’s level of reciprocal seeing.
but, beyond that, marital unity also depends on a clear understanding of what a marriage is and what it’s not. a marriage in which you and your partner compete to get your needs met is a scenario for a marital nightmare, like two kids fighting over a five-cent toy. you know you’re groping in the dark when all you can focus on is what you’re missing. so, to sharpen the distinction about what a marriage is and what it’s not, i’d like to revisit a section from the first blog in this series: marriage won’t tolerate selfishness, neediness, or disloyalty. to achieve the level of reciprocal seeing in a marriage takes work on oneself. there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma.
open marriages – for some, they are the functional glue that holds a union together. infidelity is among the top reasons marriages fail, and open marriages take a stab at changing the meaning of cheating, and preventing infidelity from ruining a union. when done right, these arrangements can provide couples with the honesty and freedom they have always wanted, but when spouses fail to address key issues they can lead a couple directly to the door of divorce. partners in a union must be blunt, true to themselves and on the same page in order for an open marriage to work. despite how enlightened and understanding spouses can be about their open marriage, jealousy can rear its ugly head at any given moment. when a couple agrees to an open arrangement, oftentimes one partner gets an abundance of phone numbers, exciting dates and steamy sexual encounters right off the bat while the other is left hanging out to dry.
when a partner who isn’t your spouse develops feelings of love, and builds an intense and passionate connection, they may want to become a primary partner. the more partners a person has, the likelier they are to contract a sexually transmitted disease. when various alternatives are thrown into the mix, partners can become competitive, leading that sense of security to be challenged and maybe even removed completely. why does your spouse want to transition into an open marriage? an open arrangement isn’t a cure-all for a marriage that’s on the rocks – it’s a life decision that is meant to add to the joy in the lives of each spouse. before entering into an open marriage, spouses must prepare themselves for stares from the neighbors, friends’ raising eyebrows and even shock and horror among respective families.
no one gets married to cheat on their spouse, and no marital ceremony extols the wonders of an open marriage. an affair and an open marriage are infidelity is among the top reasons marriages fail, and open marriages take a stab at changing the meaning of cheating, and preventing infidelity from ruining a open marriages, like traditional marriages, fall apart for all kinds of reasons, but probably the most common one is that the marriage in, open marriage ruined my life, open marriage ruined my life, signs of an open marriage, open marriage discussion, open marriage after infidelity.
open marriages are complicated, and they don’t work for every couple that tries it. some people open up a marriage for the wrong reasons, such as letting a one of the biggest problems surrounding opening your marriage is that one of the spouses may not be comfortable with it. some spouses are “certainly, an open relationship cannot save a marriage,” says taormino. “in fact, if there are existing conflicts, power struggles, and other, falling for someone in an open relationship, i don t want to be in an open relationship anymore, is fantasizing about someone cheating, signs he wants an open relationship, signs he is fantasizing about someone else, cons of open relationships, the marital labyrinth series, i want an open relationship but he doesn ‘t, open relationships are a joke, why does he want an open relationship.
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