the other night, as i was pouring a glass of red wine, i asked my husband, “do you ever struggle with anxiety?” in a kind of sarcastic tone… it had been one of those days. because of this, i want to share with you how anxiety affects you, your marriage, and what you can do about it. i can look at statistics of worst-case scenarios and somehow figure out a way that i will become part of the negative outcome. i think of everything i have to do and what i could do better. he thinks of castles and islands and vacations as he tries to sleep… and in times of high anxiety in the world, it adds an extra layer of stress and apprehension.
and when you can’t think well, it’s difficult to act well in your relationships. when everyone else is worried about toilet paper and paper towels… all of a sudden we feel the need to worry about it, too. the best thing that you can do for yourself and for your marriage is to not let your anxiety control you- and to get help if you need it! in fact, when you start to think positively instead of negatively, it starts to reactivate the way your brain is wired! if you don’t know how to calm your nerves, stress, and anxiety, we do.
my best friend was getting married in vegas, and she’d asked me to be in the wedding. he doesn’t forbid me from going, but i end up having to pick and choose. my husband has depression and anxiety. he doesn’t laugh often; our 20-year-old babysitter likes to say we’ve broken him on the rare occasion that he cracks a smile. i was diagnosed with depression just a year after him and a year before we got married. it turns out even two people with anxiety and depression can be hopelessly idealistic. he treats our home like a burrow, a small hole in the world where he can surround himself with just the people and things he loves most. he isn’t reclusive—he doesn’t shut down and refuse to leave our home for work or the grocery store—but if he doesn’t feel he’s got a good reason to leave, he doesn’t.
i’ve long since accepted that i will likely spend the rest of my life on antidepressants, but the comfort of our easy friendship and love works in tandem with my ssris. his encouragement is often what keeps me charging forward at work and on odd mornings when i wake up struggling to find purpose. it would be cruel to rip it from him, but if i could just take a drag or two, i’d feel a lot better. we might head to parade with simple plans to watch the crowd go by, only to find ourselves climbing onto a float and waving wildly at our “fans.” we are loud and enthusiastic, dancing in your seats at the hockey game or volunteering to douse runners with water at the charity race kinds of people. like ariel in the little mermaid, i need to be where the people are. i’m not overthinking my way through the week’s events. i find strength in these things, in part, because i’m proving to myself that i’m stronger than my depression. i’m chatting about the weather or the white house or having a water balloon fight in the backyard with my daughter and my best friend’s son.
here’s how anxiety can affect your marriage it can stop you from engaging with your spouse it can lead you to avoid events or situations that it’s marriage-affirming, even flattering at times, to know that someone with anxiety finds your presence comforting. but other times—often times if you’re the spouse that “dumps” on your partner in the moment of your anxiety, while that may provide you with some temporary relief, it will, husband s anxiety ruining marriage reddit, husband s anxiety ruining marriage reddit, my husbands anxiety is driving me crazy, how anxiety destroys marriage, anxiety marriage breakdown.
it’s not your job to fix it. you can offer comfort and support but there is nothing you will say or do to snap someone out of their anxiety. “it can come after three, five, even 20 years together. one cause is when reality doesn’t meet our expectations. we’re sold a message that our validate their feelings and say things like the following: “your fears/triggers aren’t silly.” “we’ll get through this together.” “how can i, divorcing a spouse with anxiety, male anxiety in relationships, i can t cope with my partner’s anxiety, spouse with anxiety and anger, relationship anxiety long-term, husband worries about everything, anxiety and depression relationship, marriage anxiety symptoms, how to tell if your spouse has anxiety, how does anxiety affect relationships.
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