for instance, if you don’t speak up for what you want, your husband is flying blind — and not likely to deliver. here is some expert advice to avoid or correct six common mistakes that can cost a marriage, or at the least, weaken its foundations. heitler calls it “appendage-itis,” in which the wife is basically being an accessory to the husband, instead of being a full and equal partner in the marriage. “if she spoke up, they might be able to work out a better arrangement,” heitler says. “maybe they’d switch to a softball league in the summer where it would be a family event.” what we know about marriage satisfaction is that it takes a massive dip when the first child is born. but do it in a way that searches for solutions and alternatives, rather than venting in a way that puts a peaceful solution further out of reach.
some women repeat their complaint or a concern a few times in an effort to get their husband’s attention. it might be useful to take a hard look at what is fixed — personality quirks, for example — and what can be changed. “you’re not going to change a cautious person into a risk-taker or an introvert into an extrovert.” karam says women need to build in time — and by extension, desire — to make love with their husbands. “generally, if you’re a woman, you have to prioritize self-care. some women get so focused on kids, work, and home that they forget to make the small gestures that go a long way to solidifying their marriage. those gestures remind both partners that they like each other, and friendship is at the heart of successful marriages, karam says. what you are at 24 is not what you are at 34.”
in a society like india that is steeped in age-old traditions, marriage is often termed as the ‘union of families’. unfortunately, many of them give in to this pressure and start to make changes in their lives, even in the pre-nuptial stages. this leads to several changes — largely at a mental and emotional level — that women constantly grapple with, especially post-marriage. at the outset, these seem like the most obvious reasons for all the emotional stress, but is there more to it? to begin with, jaitley believes that one of the biggest emotional stressors is the change in identity that the woman faces, and finds it difficult to accept. the expectations from them change and the shift is often overnight,” she adds. “the impact of past learnings and conditioning often leads to them accepting the wrong being done to them, in the name of societal norms. last but not the least, the sudden changes in their lives also brings with it anxious feelings.
the phase is overwhelming in many ways, given the number of thrills, surprises and shocks it brings! the clash of expectations vs reality, in terms of new relationships and companionship, is also a lot to take in,” explains jaitley. staying connected with self, when we are going through a phase of transition, is important,” says jaitley. build a sense of safety around yourself in these times by creating certain simple routines, which will provide some structure and familiarity,” she adds. it’s only going to make you more adept at handling the situation better. “we all grow up with dreams and aspirations. but you can always get back to them, or create new goals, whatever works best for you,” concludes jaitley. if not writing, you’ll find her cafe-hopping and raiding the best book stores in town.
the most common sexual problem within a marriage is a loss of libido. many people are under the impression that only women experience issues marriage is a life-altering journey for both men and women, but for the latter, it also means a transition at the emotional and mental level. a woman has to give up everything, from her comfortable clothes, name, family and agency. amongst the most common expectation from women is to, top marriage problems and solutions, top marriage problems and solutions, long-term marriage problems, common marriage problems after 20 years, what are the causes of problems in marriage.
1. lots of adjustments 2. handling many responsibilities 3. take into account of in-laws choice 4. have to handle emotions of her on her own. women are expected to change after marriage. but then, also if women do change, we would get to hear, “you are not the person you were”. and if so i assumed that my profession will always be respected. but soon after my wedding, i was asked to take leaves for little domestic issues, like, top 3 marriage problems, worst marriage problems.
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