one of the better analogies i have for forgiveness is comparing it to ejecting a cd, dvd, or blu-ray disc from a player. biblical forgiveness is the decision to no longer credit an offense against your spouse with a view of enacting vengeance. it is not contingent on how you feel about your spouse, but rather it is a choice to no longer blame your spouse for an offense. the arguments become so toxic and volatile in their language and tone that they produce no good but drive a deeper wedge of division into the marriage.
this is not a time to hash out differences by bringing them before the lord in prayer, but rather a time to pray that god will bless your spouse and that he will bless the two of you together with his grace and mercy. but this is a set time every week where one spouse is allowed to vent his or her pain without the fear of being shut down. when you allow your spouse the freedom to communicate what has pained him or her, and you validate that pain without becoming defensive or saying your spouse is wrong to feel it, you will be amazed at how quickly healing and forgiveness will come. this is based on a correct understanding of god’s kingdom and their responsibilities in it.
marriage expert gary smalley says unresolved anger is enemy number one when it comes to love. to handle unresolved anger you need to focus on its root cause… your unfulfilled expectations. your spouse hasn’t done what you expected them to do. take a look at your part in having this need unmet? did you expect your spouse to just “know” what you wanted? that’s often the only way to make sure your needs are known. to get rid of, and prevent, unresolved anger it’s your responsibility to be direct about your expectations. “honey, i expected you to invite my parents for dinner too. be open and direct to avoid future cases of unresolved anger. even though you want to move on, make sure you appropriately face your feelings of loss and hurt, so you won’t harbor grudges or resentment. your husband promised he would pick-up dinner thursday night. it would be easy to jump to conclusions, “he doesn’t really put me first. but, perhaps your husband had an extremely tough day at work.
maybe he got some bad news about a friend. this is where it’s up to you to state how you feel, and how your needs have gone unmet. give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. in a best-case scenario, your offender will have seen the error of their ways and will have apologized to you. focus on healing your own hurts instead of lashing out at your spouse. maybe the situation involving your unresolved anger caused you hurt and pain. maybe you learned how to voice your own needs. maybe you learned that you can take responsibility for your own happiness. you can even write a letter to your spouse. but, smalley cautions that this letter is for your eyes only, do not give it to your spouse. this can be a hard step, especially if you really haven’t gotten over your unresolved anger. put the past offense in the past, and leave it there. show them love and you will be more likely to get love in return.
1. say something and do something every day that expresses value to your spouse. 2. pray daily for each other and with each other. 3. date regularly. 4. set forgiveness is the most effective way to reduce and to master anger in married life. it alone can resolve the anger from past disappointments too much anger can damage any marriage. over time, it can cause contempt and resentment. when one or both partners express anger in uncontrolled ways,, my husband has rage attacks, my husband has rage attacks, why am i so angry at my husband all the time, my husband’s anger is ruining our marriage, my wife is always angry and negative.
those who have studied anger indicate that more anger is developed in marriage relationships than in any other relationship. unresolved anger is the principal cause of violence toward another person. the success or failure of a marriage may depend on the way a couple copes with their anger. inappropriate expressions of anger in marriage can be a major source of marital distress and unhappiness. recognizing and managing this unruly emotion can to handle unresolved anger you need to focus on its root cause your unfulfilled expectations. your spouse hasn’t done what you expected them to do. you’re the failure to master anger rapidly, with intense verbally hostile overreactions or with the cold treatment (passive-aggressive anger), is a serious, how to handle a spouse with rage, anger in marriage bible, how to get over anger in a marriage, my wife’s anger is ruining our marriage, what to do when husband is angry with you, angry at spouse, causes of anger in marriage, married to an angry woman, marriage frustration, my anger is ruining my relationship.
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