we’ve all heard the familiar saying: “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” we learn it when we are young, in hopes of developing a means to protect us from the harmful effects of playground insults. why does that happen? modern researchers have begun to pick apart this phenomenon, calling it the “chemistry of conversations.” evidence suggests that harsh remarks pointed in our direction trigger hormones that create very real physical and mental sensations of distress, and the presence of these hormones can have lasting effects. what if we took the time to strengthen our spouses and build them up with constructive words? looking for things your spouse is doing and offering them praise creates the opportunity to show them you notice their efforts, and it prevents you from being overly self-interested in a way that can lead to emotionally neglecting your significant other. when you say “thanks,” it won’t mean much without intentionally and sincerity. what has your spouse done that makes you and your relationship better?
is it their willingness to move across the country for your new job? a marriage takes two people, and often we fall victim to the assumption that our spouse knows exactly what to say or do to care for us like we want. why not take a moment to kindly express a few ways they can show you they care. when we are in the early stages of dating or marriage, it’s easy to be polite and kind. however, over time it is easy to become focused on our preferences and wrestle with issues like pride. sincere apologies remind our spouses that we care about their feelings, and they remind us that real love requires laying down our pride. however long you’ve been together, letting your spouse know that you still find them attractive and appealing boosts their confidence and helps maintain a connection in the bedroom, something important for all married couples to keep alive.
we should remember that marriage is a two way street and both parties must follow similar paths in order to meet in the middle. saying “i’m sorry” is like getting a shot –– we may be tempted to resist it, but it’s always for our benefit. sincere apologies remind our spouses that we care, t d jakes infidelity, t d jakes infidelity, t.d. jakes books on marriage, t.d. jakes marriage communication, t.d. jakes model homes 2.
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