step daughter relationship problems

it feels as if your marriage is crumbling before your eyes and you know exactly who to blame. lara’s son, robbie, is 10 and lives with them most of the time. he said she was acting like a baby and needed to grow up and thought kristi coddled her too much. little kids have a lot of big feelings, and they rarely know what to do with them. on the contrary, others hold on to a lot of emotional baggage and have trouble getting past old conflicts. that behavior is for them to work out and you to avoid. to a stepchild, this comment is disrespectful and feels intrusive. understand they are in upheaval and they may not know how to cope with their emotions. show them how to be thankful for the sunshine and every new day. i stay calm and tell him to have her go to the her room as we talk. i just literally has gotten to the point that i resent her and i want nothing more to do with her. the mother talked to him and he seem to have understood. i would love to marry him, but his kids and their mom will go to great lengths to make sure that does not happen! i have children of my own and they are all very successful and are very responsible. my husband and i have been together since his son was a baby. my husband now wrote me a letter that i found in the trash, but he hasn’t given it to me that he is tired of us arguing all the time and he can’t take it anymore. will not visit the house just in case i am there and told their dad if they want a relationship with them then it’s on their terms. she doesn’t have to do chores and if i say anything about it my husband says that i don’t like her. my husband doesn’t agree that his daughter’s choices are disrespectful and actually told me yesterday that it breaks his heart most of the time that he has to correct things he doesn’t see as a problem. last night another example of what is building up to be a decision for me occurred, and the coles notes version is my wife doesn’t see the issues as issues… that we don’t “see things the same way”. last night i decided to not cook him dinner but served my wife and me. i love my husband but he doesn’t seem to want to discipline them because he is afraid of his ex wife. i don’t know how to deal with the utter hatred and resentment i now have toward his daughter. i moved in to help him because of his son’s special needs and we became a blended family. i quit my job that i had for years to take on the full time mom role.. i homeschooled him and my other kids . and i only homeschooled the other kids ( my bio kids) not him…. i do not and never have discipline him. when i started a relationship with my husband my children accepted him and treat him with love and respect. he is not doing this and i hate my step children. i got him a job at a place i work and he tampered with the test swab. i feel like i’m paying for that now and this is the trauma the kids went thru as well. i’m sorry to hear that you wasted 12yrs of your life with a group of ppl who didn’t grow to appreciate and respect yu as the man of the home. i feel for you rdb as i’m at a point where i had to move out of our home and living in a hotel! i have been thinking about leaving the marriage because of them and to protect my children too. she complains and quite and did not work and then when my husband was about to buy a house with me. i do not have any answers 99% of the time i do not get involved…but after my ears i sometimes make a comment. then turned it into all my fault, the children don’t have a relationship with dad anymore all because i sacked her. he left the house for a few hours so my kids would come over, and i did the same when his kids came over. i also feel that my husband is not dealing with the situation in a good way. for the last three years both he and i have walked on eggshells so not to “bother” her. i made tons of sacrifices to be here – i mentioned the move to a city i hate but i also bought in her school district (btw i never had children with my late husband so this was completely foreign to me) drove her to school everyday for 2.5 years until she got her license to drive, and other smaller sacrifices (not trying to sound like the “hero” that have her entire life away!) as a matter of fact i even suggested years ago that they pick a day or two just for the two of them to have a dad/daughter only time. i know exactly how it feels to be in your position… i’m in the same situation with my step son.

my step son is going to his moms for a few days and when he gets back he is not going to have any of his luxuries… i guess the saying is true, you don’t know what you have until it’s gone and he’s about to find out what it’s like to not have any of the things he enjoys here like his ps4, his tablet, his dad’s phone, etc. i do still love him and want to be with him but he says no and i no it’s because of his daughter and she wouldn’t like it. one night that i was alone with her she got very angry and hated me badly and i had to phone the police. )….the family was really close and i was happy to have another ten years to be with them….sorry for the long intro: my youngest started cutting herself and starving herself. my daughters both have therapy (the youngest has social anxiety issues–she wants to get a job and she wants to overcome it). the love is still there; but the fact that she and they are all suddenly happy with their new lives…i don’t know what kind of future i can expect to have. i don’t want my child to grow up with a step-father and i don’t want to marry anyone with kids ever again. if he can’t have the courage to be the man and hold his daughter accountable then you will always be miserable. i have my own daughter and i don’t want her to get affected by this chaos. he is failing out of grade 11 and i seem to be the only one that cares! my wife and i have provided the best of everything for him, but my wife says that she bought him everything herself, but i’m never getting any credit for all of the years, with joint banking provided paychecks that i never cared about. i try to talk to my husband about this passive-aggressive behavior, but he tries to ignore it or excuse it most of the time. i have tried to be a nice person and a friend. i feel the only way to make peace is to give them their dad and divorce him so that i can be at peace. i have 2 boys by my husband and she never showed any love towards any of us not even her own dad. i love my husband and we are wonderful when we don’t see her or talk about her. i have been in the children’s lives for the past 4 years and i find them to be quite miserable and manipulative. i told her that he cant live in my house anymore and she pretty much told me that i could leave because he will always have a place to live with her. my wife and i set rules and consequences, but she always tries to diminish the consequences, which leads to us fighting and me being the bad guy. my anxiety is through the roof and i have woken up in the middle of the night to him standing over me as i slept. i feel like leaving her and her mother because of the boy would be wrong, but lately i feel it is the only thing that will save my own sanity in the end. it is so upsetting and disappointing that i am ready to quit it all. i don’t want to stop my husband from seeing the grandkids but it is so unfair that i’m not allowed to be around them. i have disciplined and punished him for it, i’m not blind to the behaviour however my husband says i dont give the behaviour punishment it deserves. i was the same and my husband had custody of my stepdaughter from the age of 3 so she lived with us for 18yrs. i feel so sad because this is almost like the only thing that threatens our marriage and the worst of it is that when i told my husband that his son can’t live with us due to the way he disrespects me, he told me that it’s impossible after all he knew him before me. i feel i want to leave them to keep sanity and joy in my daughters and my life. despite the fact that she is a truly narcissistic, overbearing type of person, i have always maintained that her life and the way she lives it and her relationship with her daughters is not my business and i would never intervene. emily is a more sensitive child and her mother has manipulated her in to feeling sorry for her and has convinced emily that i ruined their family. though she refuses to have a conversation with me, i have tried to communicate with emily. it is very difficult to be in a relationship with someone you love and care so much about when you know that their child hates you. now my marriage is on the rocks and i dont know what to do. to the point of they were friends and now my son can’t stand him. i am so glad to know i am not alone in this—we are now engaged (together for 5 years)—and my fiancé’s kids were horrible the first year, it got better, and in the last 6 months, they have been a nightmare. i am afraid that once we start a family, his kids will have nothing to do with us or the baby & make it miserable, or just come around and make it miserable. i know it’s his fault for allowing it, but i feel i’m wasting my time and energy now. i am the stepdad and i have always said you have a dad and i am here for who ever wants me to be here with your mom. i tried to take time with him.. helped him with homework, only missed 4 of his soccer games in 4 years and cook his favorite meals. i feel burnt out and shoved to the side. i told my husband to just let me handle him and for him not to parent and he agreed and now he won’t even talk to my son. my son is a kid and i dont know how to make my husband understand most kids his age go through phases like this. i still have trouble with them and they seem to live on this planet where i’m the evil stepmom. life is too short so i focus on the positive things in life, my own kids, and enjoying time with my husband when we are alone.

initially, when you enter into a new family relationship, you will need to observe what expectations have already been put into place. it is actually better to be less involved at the beginning, just as you would be less involved with any other new person in your life. once they are in a dedicated place to listen to you away from the situation, tell them about the behaviors you’re having a hard time understanding. when you’re coming from a place of curiosity and openness, it becomes easier to discuss the challenges. in the early stages of a relationship, step-children often prefer only listening to their parent. which is why it’s helpful to discuss step-children issues with your partner and have them deal directly with their own children when possible.

there may still be times when you need to set appropriate boundaries by declaring, “in this house, we expect all people to respect these house rules.”  however, it will be best if you and your partner discuss which issues are best for the parent to deal with directly. the child may be treated with more generosity or care than your partner may have shown you. when you discuss the behavior from a place of encouragement and desire, it comes across as a positive way to enhance all of the relationships in your life. it is important to recognize when a relationship with a step-child is reaching a difficult place. the more you preserve your inner peace, the more control you can bring back to a relationship that may need more time and patience to reach a harmonious place. we work with you to find what strategies will work best for you and your relationship. if you’re struggling in your relationship, call 917-273-8836 or contact us for a complimentary consultation to learn more about couples and marriage counseling in nyc and how we can help you.

stepchildren can be the source of ongoing conflict in some remarriages. children often feel powerless when their parents split apart. sometimes many stepparents have expressed feeling trapped in a situation with a stepchild whose behavior is awful: the kids may break the rules constantly, be it is important to recognize when a relationship with a step-child is reaching a difficult place. if you are losing your ability to be kind or, signs of a jealous stepdaughter, signs of a jealous stepdaughter, when to leave because of stepchild, toxic stepchildren, how to deal with a disrespectful grown step child.

feeling that you’re in direct competition with someone else for your fiancé’ s understanding, time and affection is always going be tough. the story about there are many reasons why your marriage may be suffering on account of your stepchildren, but it is important that you and your spouse remember you are a team, mini wife syndrome is when the stepchild acts as if she were the mother of the family. this behavior is often linked to guilt parenting (, things a step-parent should never do, i want to leave my husband because of his daughter, my husband always defends his daughter, toxic stepchildren quotes, my stepchild is ruining my marriage, step-parent feeling left out, step child syndrome, grown stepchildren and marriage, stepchildren issues, bad stepfather signs.

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