i have never given another man a second look during my relationship, but josh and i had such an instant connection, it was unsettling. or if josh just reminded you that you’re still young and settled on a life partner awfully early in the game. i love the city, and i thought my wife and i were in agreement. i am going to be a grandfather, and helping raise a 9-year-old is wonderful, but i can’t do diapers again. i don’t know how easy it will be to get her to talk, given her present state of mind, but it’s worth drawing her out and finding out what it is exactly that she wants.
on the one hand, i feel it is not my place to get involved, but i feel terrible for the wife. i think you have to up the ante with her. needless to say, my husband and i were mortified, hustled him out of the venue, and apologized for his behavior. what can i do to put this incident firmly in the past and get back to the close friendship my sister and i used to have? this will not be an answer you will enjoy, i don’t think, but the best way forward for you is to parent your adult son a little less. i just don’t know how to go about this, especially since i want to be a responsible advocate for my sister and not make things worse for her.
it’s been a good, safe pandemic arrangement; alice is fun, cute, and it’s been nice to find someone i really enjoy hanging out with and enjoy sex with and is on the same page about not being in a relationship. methinks the struggle you’re having is that, whether you knew it or not, you thought of alice as a plaything. which means i’m doing a lot of coaching and training, as well as just about all account opening, maintenance, problem solving, or anything that you have to be at the bank six-plus months before corporate will let you do. you feel guilty about leaving your manager in a lurch, but it’s really your corporate office that hasn’t set any of you up for success. i keep bringing up to him that i think he and his parents and siblings need to sit down and have a conversation about the future of this house and he agrees, but just doesn’t do it. this is going to continue to stress you out and may become a sticking point in your marriage so, for your own sake as well as that of your in-laws, you should find a way to start the conversation.
i think the ship has sailed for diversifying your wedding, and my guess would be that any wedding guests who are people of color already know what you discovered about your circle of friends. if you grew up in predominantly white spaces and are friends with people who are also from predominantly white spaces, it stands to reason that you’re not suddenly going to find yourself in a benetton ad. normally, this is not a big deal for me with anyone, but i was so used to talking to her every day i started to get in my head and think, “how hard is it to send a text?” i told her it stressed me out and i worried, but it continued, like clockwork, never with any explanation. that was a deal-breaker for you, and we all have the right to define our dealbreakers. i know you didn’t want to be a part of this, but thems the breaks when you’re in a relationship. my problem is that the people i work with frequently say terribly insulting things about religion and religious people.
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