later on, in adulthood, they will coach us through first-time motherhood, are there when the kids go off to college, and will even walk us through menopause. but the dividends of intimate friendship are so many that we can’t afford not to make the investment. * throughout their lives, men are concerned with ascendancy and self-protection in conversation and life, but women make themselves vulnerable in order to anchor their lives in relationships with men, children, and other women. they …