in 1976, dr. robert levenson and dr. john gottman teamed up to combine the study of emotion with psycho-physiological measurement and a video-recall method that gave us rating dial measures (still applying game theory) of how people felt during conflict. the rating dial and their observational coding of the interaction also “predicted” changes in relationship satisfaction. gottman and levenson were amazed to discover that harsh startup by women in the conflict discussion was predictable by the male partner’s disinterest or …

the idea that the love in your relationship has expired is a difficult thought for one to stomach. this is when partners begin to assume the worst about each other. the words they use to describe their relationship feel cold. when couples have vivid and distinct memories of each other, it’s a sign that they understand and respect each other, and that they know each other well and do their best to be there for each other.

they glorify the …

the seven principles for making marriage work is a 1999 book by john gottman, which details seven principles for couples to improve their marriage and the “four horseman” to watch out for, that usually herald the end of a marriage. [2] in the seven principles for making marriage work, gottman argues that the basis for a happy marriage is a deep friendship with mutual respect and a positive attitude. in the course of the book, gottman details seven principles for …

john gottman, ph.d., cofounder of the gottman institute, conducted one of the most comprehensive ongoing studies of married couples ever. here are the four rules he strongly advises all people follow to avoid conflict in a marriage: “criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint! for example, you can say “i really needed your help fixing the sink,” instead of “you never do what you say you will!” the target of contempt is made to …

there’s a common misconception about relationships, and it starts with the words happily ever after that we hear in disney movies as children. they are the facts about how relationships can work in a positive, healthy, and lasting way. they found that the same positive outcomes from having healthy relationships appeared in both the harvard graduates and in everyday bostonians.

relationships are constantly in flux, and they will always have some kind of conflict or disagreement, whether that be with …