rayo began to split his time between stenstrum and aldridge, living with stenstrum during the week and shipping off to aldridge on the weekends. rayo was relieved of his two-man juggle, and stenstrum and aldridge were excited to close the open loop in their three-person arrangement. there’s one queen-size bed in the apartment, which stenstrum and aldridge share while rayo works the overnight shift at a pharmacy. “then talk to the people in the relationship and see if that jealousy …

in 2005, a study found that more than 40% of gay men had an agreement that sex outside the relationship was permissible, while less than 5% of heterosexual and lesbian couples reported the same. and while that assertion will be perplexing or even taboo to many monogamous couples, a new study into gay couples in open relationships suggests that this skepticism is unjustified. and open relationships “don’t seem to put gay men at disproportionate risk for hiv and other stds,” …

if you and your partner want to have a close relationship and have additional sex partners, be prepared for a lot of talking. most men are not socialized to embrace the sharing of intimate and vulnerable emotions. so if you want the experience of an open lgbtq relationship that works, you will need to continually tell each other how much you love each other, how deeply committed you are to the partnership, and how glad you are to see him. …

and yet, this is the model that most of the human race has embraced for hundreds of years. but, given the power of our community to create and invent our own norms and institutions, why would we settle for that? we get to do it our way. however, because sex is so important to a lot of us, it is my experience that about half of our relationships — over time — are not 100% monogamous.

other men, however, think …

i get jealous and sick to my stomach when she is over there. i love my wife very much and want to support her in this. since you’re straight and can get pussy at home (when that pussy is at home), you’re not entitled to the same allowance. you seem to have assumed—or figured—that your wife would be seeking sex elsewhere, sex and only sex, but your wife “caught feelings” and now she has a girlfriend. i tell her it …