in dr. helen fisher’s research on broken hearts, she found that once a partner recognizes that they are “never, ever getting back together” they might enter the “abandonment rage stage”. the rage and anger are an attempt to protect you from the incredible vulnerability that exists when someone you’re attached to is leaving you. these feelings are fueled by adrenaline. they take away the ability for rational thought. for some, this rage might come out in angry journaling, complaining to …

there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma. a part of the brain called the amygdala is wired to take over and generate fighting, fleeing, or freezing responses when your brain labels a relationship conflict as an emergency. all of these responses can cause a partner to feel attacked, rejected, or abandoned, which triggers their emergency response network, and so the cycle continues. you may turn to addictions or compulsive behaviors as a way …