john gottman, ph.d., cofounder of the gottman institute, conducted one of the most comprehensive ongoing studies of married couples ever. here are the four rules he strongly advises all people follow to avoid conflict in a marriage: “criticizing your partner is different than offering a critique or voicing a complaint! for example, you can say “i really needed your help fixing the sink,” instead of “you never do what you say you will!” the target of contempt is made to …