your needs and wants in any relationship is very different in each age range and as we grow up we tend to look at the concept of love very differently as well. up until your mid 20s, you feel a constant need and enthusiasm to go on dates, to have a partner to go together to the movies, talk on the phone for hours, and go out alone or with friends. some of the rosy outlook on life that you had in your teenage years stay with you in your eaarly 20s. so, you start to tolerate and let go of all the things that bother you in your partner and don’t fit with your personality at all. you believe that you need to sacrifice a lot for your relationship to last even if you’re sacrificing part of your own personality. you won’t just want to get into a relationship because you want someone in your life, but you’ll want to date someone because you are genuinely attracted to them and have feelings toward them.
you won’t be in such a rush to get married until you make sure that this person is the right one for you. you’ll follow your dreams and ambitions before anything else to be able to face yourself and accept who you are and in turn accept your partner. what will matter the most to you is his mentality and mindset, because that is a huge influence on your relationship. you’ll have your dreams and ambitions that you don’t want to let go of or neglect in order to please your partner because it’s part of what defines you. she found a certain magic in reading and writing about women and anything that has to do with their lives. she doesn’t like to stay at home a lot because she finds joy in roaming around, even if it is without a purpose.
i met my first boyfriend that year, and it was the epitome of a first love. he’d constantly ask me for money and guilt me if i tried to say “no.” i started to feel like a bad person. then, even in the midst of that career change, i realized there was something else i really wanted: to be a digital nomad and travel the world. i wanted to get married one day, and anything that was not furthering the goal of finding my spouse felt like a waste of time. instead of wondering “would he still be with me if he knew…” i get the reassurance that he knows who i really am and still wants to be with me.
eventually, the weight of wanting more became too much for me to carry, and i wrote him a long, emotional email confessing my love for him. i had to be the one to take that chance, and i’m so glad i did. i really thought i’d lost the love of my life and we were meant to be together forever. it’s common to have less sex as the relationship goes on and it doesn’t make you less close. last time i got back from a trip, for example, i told my partner to please clean the apartment and buy specific foods that i wanted in the house (including not just tortellini but cheese tortellini). part of me wishes i didn’t have to learn these lessons the hard way.
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