make sure that you know where to draw the line when sharing personal things with your friends. this makes it one of the reasons that couples face issues or split. every couple faces financial difficulties at some time or the other, but it is important to keep that information to yourself. any performance-related issues or anxiety is something very personal to the couple. it should remain between the couple unless both are okay sharing it with others. “while it may seem like a good idea to run to your friends every time you have a disagreement or fight with your partner, this may not be good for relationships in the long haul,” dr catherine jackson, licensed clinical psychologist.
in the moment, it may seem good to vent, but you are creating a negative image of your partner in front of the person you are venting to. “be selective about any unfavourable things you share about your partner.” “what are the things that would really upset you if you found out your partner was discussing them with others? that can provide you with the perspective you may need.” this will come as a surprise, but avoid sharing the possible future of your relationship with a third person. keep your hopes, goals and expectations from the relationship between you’ll. announce your plans to the world only when you and your partner are on the same page.
so, if you’re feeling shame or fear about something you’re not sharing with your spouse, chances are good that the thing you are keeping to yourself goes beyond your private life and falls into the secret category. if you were a jew in nazi germany and your life would be threatened by revealing your faith, then keeping it secret would be useful. in the west, it is one of your basic human rights (although that right is rapidly being eroded by our governments). when i work with a couple who are seeking help because their sex life has died, one of the first things i seek to discover is how merged they are and then support them individuating. you voluntarily share the things that you believe will help increase your partner’s understanding of who you are and how you came to be you.
sharing everything with your spouse removes any mystery from your partner’s perception of you… and mystery plays a vital part in keeping the spark alive between you. your partner may not care that you masturbated this morning or that you find the plumber attractive. assuming that you don’t have a secret porn addiction or that you are not secretly sleeping with the plumber, sharing this information may not necessarily benefit your relationship in any tangible way. if your partner is demanding, jealous, hyper-vigilant about monitoring your whereabouts and interactions with others or is prone to behavior that could be construed as policing, monitoring or spying, then they may have experienced a trauma of some kind. it is by no means the last word on privacy and secrecy and is a constant work in progress for me. credit to my teacher esther perel for her work that popularized the connection between separation and desire.
r/relationship_advice: need help with your relationship? whether it’s romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we’re … keeping your relationship private is a personal decision that needs to be mutual. but no matter what you and your partner share or don’t share, the only thing seeking relationship advice from your friends is normal, but certain things that should remain only between you and your partner., how to keep your relationship private but not a secret, keeping relationship private on social media, private relationship is better, private relationship is better, private relationship vs secret.
by bruce muzik in relationship advice, understanding your differences. is privacy good or bad for your relationship? too much privacy can border on secrecy. keeping your relationship private isn’t a sign of insecurity or lack of appreciation, it’s a smart move. the private relationship meaning centers on keeping the intimate details of your relationship between you and your partner. this creates sacred, private relationship vs public relationship, being in a relationship with a private person, private relationship meaning, private relationship quotes, a private relationship is a happy relationship, keep your relationship private from friends, relationship advice reddit, private relationship message, keep your relationship private until it’s permanent, reddit relationship advice controversial.
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