in this modern day of social distancing, fake instagram relationships that last for two months and daily doses of celebrity filled timelines that boast pour and stir marriages, it’s easy to get lost in the sauce of what it truly means to cultivate a relationship that, hopefully, becomes a coupled alliance capable of overcoming obstacles, surviving disagreements and birthing brown babies. it’s especially difficult when you realize that black folks are still recovering from the systematic trauma of being oppressed. how do you fall in love when you know that so many people don’t even love themselves? when you know that the person you are dating might have some trauma they need to unpack, the best dating tip you can get is to take it slow. that means ask questions, have long conversations and recognize when their is hesitance on the lips of your potential partner. in addition, take it slow so that you can recognize how their vibrational energy interacts with your own. does the tone of your voice change? do you feel like you can advocate for yourself in the presence of this new energy?
if you rush, you may not recognize how their vibrational energy has changed, both in positive and negative ways, you. we fail to take the advice of auntie when she says she was in the same situation 25 years ago. who do you know that has been in a good relationship? collect their experiences because there is nothing new under the sun. if the mate you are with exhibits some of the same characteristics, life experiences and patterns that your grandmother’s first husband did, you might want to at least hear her out. if a person lacks hobbies, interest and intellect, it shows up in the way they date you. make it a rule that you date during the day. dating should not be the process of dumbing you down in order to make you more pliable for another person’s manipulations, it be the process of lifting you up so that someone can make an accurate depiction of who you are as your higher self. her first book, the brown mama mindset: a blueprint for black moms on life, love & home, was featured at the 2018 essence festival and is currently sold in various cities across the u.s. muffy champions the beauty of black motherhood everywhere she goes, even on the tedx stage.
when it comes to black love, our passion is unmatched. life has a way of sucking the soul out of you at times, but it is best to remain as youthful, excited and committed to your love life as much as possible. when we get wrapped up in the day-to-day grind, it’s fairly easy to lose focus of why we chose our mate in the first place. you didn’t settle for basic, so be sure not to settle for it now that a little time has gone by. this isn’t to say that a tropical island will fix all of your problems, it just means that perhaps you need a change of scenery. allow a new destination to peacefully affect your aura. that way, you can refocus and calmly work toward a solution.
a large part of loving relationships is one’s ability to make their partner feel alive. work to incorporate a series of mindlessly fun activities into your routine. people change over time, and being able to accept one’s evolution (if it is a positive one that aligns with your life path) could greatly aid you in fostering a closer connection with your mate. when you have a stake in something, whether it be a project, professional goal or financial investment, you are more inclined to put your best foot forward. work with your mate to establish unified goals that will bring you both satisfaction. it will remind you that you are indeed a team and that both “halves” are valuable to the “whole” of your relationship. with a bit of commitment, honesty and passion, these tips will take you a long way—together. when you sign up for the ebony newsletter, you’ll be the first to know about all the latest news and updates that are important to you.
1. take it slow. when you know that the person you are dating might have some trauma they need to unpack, the best dating tip you can get is to 1. remember why you fell in love. 2. replace arguments with experiences. 3. activate the youth in you! 4. commit to not just your mate, but relationship advice: “the only advice i can give new couples is to ‘be true to thyself as much as you can—and accept change gracefully,'” karen, black relationships, black relationships, black relationship goals, the power of black love, the importance of black love.
“we keep things simple in our relationship. i look at her as my friend and i don’t take that for granted. you find those things that bring you even if you can’t resolve a disagreement before you hit the sheets, you can agree to let the anger go for the night. remind each other how lucky you are — even when asked about the one piece of advice for married couples, mecca said, “my advice to women is to learn how to maintain a sense of self., what is the difference between black love and white love, black love quotes, what is black love emoji, what is white love.
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