platonic partners was set up eight years ago by suzie king, a counsellor from cambridge who is now 59, after she realised there was no forum for people like her who craved companionship and affection, yet had lost interest in the sexual side of life. ‘i’d been married and had great sexual relationships, but i got to the stage when other things became more important,’ she recalls. ‘i’d always been awkward around women and at the bedroom stage i froze.
‘if i had to write a list of a hundred things i want to do with my day, sex wouldn’t be on it — but it’s difficult to admit that in our society. but the reality is i just want to meet someone i can potter around with, someone who shares my values.’ that sentiment is shared by atalanta harmsworth, an actress in her late 40s, who founded creativesdating.com after struggling to meet men she connected with through traditional sites. ‘he feels uk talent is very strong in all areas of the entertainment business, and has asked that i find a way of letting the u.s. site interact with the uk site. we by-passed the sex stage and ended up in a wonderful partnership.
the number of users online dating sites like match.com, okcupid, jdate and eharmony now attract suggests that any stigma people once felt around looking for love online has lifted. several sites have cropped up in the past five years to facilitate platonic meetups. the times took a closer look at three such sites in particular: socialjane.com, girlfriendcircles and girlfriend social. according to its website, girlfriendcircles is “committed to introducing awesome women and inspiring real friendships.” girlfriend social explicitly states that it is a website for “ladies only” who are “looking to make platonic women friendships.” the process works similarly to online dating.
the times reported that the majority of the (thousands) of women using these type of friendship-seeking sites are going through a period of transition in their lives — such as a move or a divorce — that might make creating new friendships more difficult. while it’s generally accepted that you may need to put some in some extra effort while pursuing a romantic partner, actively looking for friends may be viewed as out of the ordinary or desperate. “the awkwardness seems even more intense than dating sites because it doesn’t align with the old, time-worn trope of the boyfriendless lady who has lots of female friends but just wants love,” wrote jezebel’s ann breslaw. bertsche said that after publishing “mwf seeking bff,” lots of women contacted her to share similar experiences: i heard from so many women on their own bff searches because friends had moved, or their pals got married and had kids and suddenly had less free time, or because they wanted to settle down and their besties were still looking to party all the time. some very special friendships last forever, but plenty of them run their course.
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