we would have been together for 6 months this sunday. the reason why he broke up with me is that this coming semester, he will be working/in class for 12 hours a day and he doesnât want to put me through that, since he wonât have enough time to give me. he then said that he didnât think this would be the last time we spoke, and that we would somehow find our way back into each otherâs lives eventually.
he said yes, if we had been dating at a different time in our lives, things would have been different, but he doesnât want me to hold onto that because he doesnât want to keep me from seeing other people. i told him i still loved him, and he said he still loved me too. a couple hours later, out of a moment of weakness, i texted him saying that i just wanted to see him one last time, for closure. so clearly the two of us donât have any bad blood, and are still very much in love with each other.
here’s the thing. whether you’re madly in love and your heart gets crushed, or you’re just slightly interested and your ego gets bruised, you undoubtedly take a hit when someone ends things with you. because if you didn’t marry the first person you dated, chances are you’ve been broken up with. sometimes you’re the heart-breaker, and sometimes you’re the heart-broken. like there’s never a good way to break up with someone. don’t even end it over the phone. don’t apologize for the relationship. sure, everyone wants to hate the other person after a breakup, but that doesn’t mean you should give them a good reason to hate you. because if you’re a decent person- if you actually like the person you’re ending things with- your inclination might be to try to soften the blow by balancing the breakup with open ended statements like…”but you’re really great” and “maybe in the future if things are different…” it’s what you think is the kind way to break up with someone. my friends and i talk about this all the time, and i actually put it to an instagram poll. majority of my followers were on my side, but not everyone, so i guess you can take what i’m about to say knowing that. the topic came up because a follower was in this exact situation- someone broke up with them in the friendliest, kindest way– saying that maybe, in the future, if things change, they could revisit things. that they were just too busy with work or school or fill in the blank.
not nice. i actually think it’s kind of cruel. you’re not letting them get the closure they need to get over you. because they were not ready to end the relationship. you gave them a pretty sturdy rope to latch on to. i get it, you might want to get back together with them in a year? but omg, give them a chance to heal, because god knows you’ll be moving on with that person in your grad school class, and it will take them double, triple… the amount of time to get over you. it might seem harsh to tell someone you don’t like them enough, you’re not feeling it anymore, you don’t see a future, you can’t make it work, the relationship feels too hard, there are too many differences etc. but it’s actually the only real way to give closure. so sometimes the nicest thing you can do for someone is to actually give them that. if you want to hide it in your back pocket, cool. just don’t tell them that while you’re breaking up with them. it’s 100% authentic, which means sometimes it will be more sarcasm than serious, and other times it will be more real life than laughs, and more likely than not, it’ll be a combination of it all. welcome to my brain.
some relationships end but really don’t. perhaps the timing wasn’t right for both of you when you did meet, or you had some unresolved my (now ex) boyfriend (19m) broke up with me (20f) 4 days ago. we would have been together for 6 months this sunday. so this is my cardinal rule about breakups and closure: when you break up with someone, do not leave any doors open. ever. do not give them hope, open ended relationship, open ended relationship, open ended relationship meaning, open-ended relationship questions, how to break up with someone nicely.
don’t leave things open-ended. in the moment, you may feel tempted to lessen the blow of a breakup by hinting at the chance of future in some cases, it’s as easy as having a conversation and saying “so long”, resulting in a breakup devoid of drama. however, most break-ups i believe firmly closing the door after a breakup is the way to go. no “somedays,” “who knows what the future will brings”, or “i hope i can get, how to break up with someone without hurting them, how to break up with someone you still love, what to say to break up with someone, when is it time to break up with someone you love, how to break up with someone who doesn’t want to break up, how to break up with a girl, reasons to break up with someone you love, how to break up with your boyfriend when you still love him, what to say when you want to break up with your boyfriend, how to break up with your boyfriend without any reason.
When you try to get related information on open ended breakup, you may look for related areas. open ended relationship, open ended relationship meaning, open-ended relationship questions, how to break up with someone nicely, how to break up with someone without hurting them, how to break up with someone you still love, what to say to break up with someone, when is it time to break up with someone you love, how to break up with someone who doesn’t want to break up, how to break up with a girl, reasons to break up with someone you love, how to break up with your boyfriend when you still love him, what to say when you want to break up with your boyfriend, how to break up with your boyfriend without any reason.