after several attempts to separate from her husband in recent years, elif has now decided to end the marriage once and for all. gerner has been working in the field for five years now. “one situation i experience a lot is that a woman will get in touch and tell me that there have been a lot of problems in the relationship for ten years and that they now want to end the relationship,” she says. “when these people sit in front of me, i understand where they come from and am able to advise them at that level,” says the marriage counsellor. even though ayse gerner offers muslim marriage counselling, the decision to go to her for counselling was not an easy one for elif.
the parents are often involved in the choice of partner, and the marriage is celebrated with the extended family, which is why, says gerner, the dissolution of the marriage would also be a family act. she explains one of the key reasons for this: the marriage union is associated with many emotions and they really do go to extremes – sometimes even to the point of self-destruction – to keep it alive.” while there are no statistics on divorce rates in the muslim community in germany, ayse gerner has noticed that a growing number of muslim marriages are now ending because they are not as stable as they used to be. “the first thing i have to do is build trust and emphasise over and over that they can talk about anything in the session and i will not tell others about it. thanks in part to the authority of the muslim marriage and family counsellor ayse gerner, she has managed to persuade her parents that divorce is the best option. these days lasanda deepthi’s life is ruled by the needle on her tutktuk’s fuel gauge.
not communicating effectively is one of the biggest causes for fights. in a good marriage, both spouses must feel understood by their spouses. when spouses talk this is just as true for muslim couples as it is for couples in majority society. but muslim couples also face very specific problems. i fell in love with the man of my dreams and married him with the blessings of however, soon into the marriage, we started to have problems., unhappy marriage islam, unhappy marriage islam, marriage problems and solutions in islam, toxic marriage in islam, my husband makes me depressed islam.
in the qur’an, muslim men are allowed up to four wives, as long as they can treat each one equally. this is known as polygamy. however, if they cannot treat them equally, muslim men are advised to have just one wife, and this is the practice in most modern islamic socieities. muslim women are only allowed one husband. islam taught us about the role of husband and wife. islam teaches that husbands are the leader in the family, they are responsible to fulfill the needs of his wife and children. while the wife is responsible to manage the household needs (azizah, 2016). express your affection to your husband in the ways that come naturally to you. find out what your loved one responds to, and show him love in this way. if your husband likes physical affection, kiss and hug him when you greet him. if he likes to be told that you love him, tell him freely. islam recognizes the value of sex and companionship and advocates marriage as the foundation for families and channeling the fulfillment of a base need. marriage is highly valued and regarded as being half of one’s faith, according to a saying of muhammad. the actual muslim wedding is known as a nikah. it is a simple ceremony, at which the bride does not have to be present so long as she sends two witnesses to the drawn-up agreement. normally, the ceremony consists of reading from the qur’an, and the exchange of vows in front of witnesses for both partners. the islamic methods of separation for example, talaq is the unilateral right of the man and can only be given by him. however, if he agrees to transfer his power of talaq, then the wife will also have the same right, known as tafweedh-e-talaq. the qur’an promotes reconciliation, through negotiated settlements between the spouses themselves or the use of arbitrators from their families. however, when u201cmutual good treatmentu201d is not possible, there should be an amicable parting. thus, the qur’an treats divorce as something permitted but not laudable. , married life in islam, muslim marriage guide pdf, muslim marriage expectations, how to deal with difficult husband in islam, duas for marriage problems, first year of marriage islam, after marriage what to do with wife in islam, how to solve marriage problems, islamic marriage talks, islamic marriage advice helpline. how to maintain a healthy marriage? an islamic perspectivespend time with each other. married partners need time together in order to grow strong. negotiate conflict. be respectful. don’t forget yourself. focus on emotional intimacy. explore common interests. pray together. express your love. muslim dating rules for halal datingbe mature and old enough to start dating. date with the intention of finding your partner. no premarital sex. single people need chaperones. avoid sex talk. don’t rush to a proposal. remain friends, not just lovers. always keep a strong faith. money problems. money problems are a common cause of marital problems. lack of intimacy. intimacy in marriage is important and also one of the most common causes of marital problems. splitting up chores. change in appearance. fertility struggles. poor communication. infidelity. inconsistent religious beliefs.
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