and as i lay there, i started wondering why i wasn’t applying myself to the project of being a spouse. over the nine years of our marriage, he taught himself to be a master carpenter and a master chef. during the first nine years of our marriage — that is, until we tried to improve it — dan and i thought little about our expectations and even less about our parents’ marriages, both of which have lasted more than 40 years. both working from home, our lives resembled a d-list version of joan didion’s and john gregory dunne’s, whose days, according to didion, “were filled with the sound of each other’s voices” — except with what i can only assume is a much more egregious lack of boundaries. for guidance i turned to the standard assessments. dan and i decided to dive in, trusting that the terms of our better marriage and the yardstick by which to measure those terms would emerge along the way. it’s like you’re blind and deaf to everyone but the kids.” i thought i had avoided becoming one of those mothers who transferred all of her romantic energy from her husband to her children. a friend had recently told me that he thought i was the boss in my marriage. because of the cooking, in part, we saved little for retirement and nothing for our children’s college educations. they were tales about suburban bat mitzvahs and the pedal pushers i wore to them, anecdotes from a conventional east coast world our marriage eschewed. yet dan and i weren’t going to stop sharing a room — for one thing, we lacked the space. dan had just flown home from london where he was working on a story about fergus henderson, a chef who defines half a pig’s head as “a perfect romantic supper for two.” henderson has parkinson’s but told dan he stopped reading about the disease, because in his experience “the more i know, the more symptoms i have.” following suit, we thought it best to stick to dissecting the good parts of our marriage and how to improve them, as marriage can bring out people’s worst.
so instead of speaking our harshest truths, for six weeks running dan and i pursued the lesser offense of making the other sound crazy. on our wedding day, dan and i performed that elaborate charade: i walked down the aisle with my father. yet at root we fought because the issue rubbed a weak point in our marriage, in our monogamy: i didn’t want to see my devotion to my parents as an infidelity to dan. i took the girls to do errands with what i thought were the best of intentions, but i was so angered by dan’s relentless crabbiness that i failed to buy a gift. but clearly i owed dan a debt of constancy and consideration. inspired by mitchell, i decided to try a thought exercise: to think, while we were making love, that dan was not predictable in the least. even after the book was published, i never quite shook the feeling that my role in dan’s life was to be the steady, vanilla lay. every few years i’d have a relationship that mirrored that one, and then i had the bull moose of these relationships. i allowed that i felt hemmed in by our excessively regular sex life and annoyed that, in the context of our marriage, dan supposedly had an important sexual history while i had none. one day dan found a box of old snapshots in the basement and brought it upstairs, thinking he’d show his old self to our daughters. i came to view the project as a giant attempt to throw everything out of the messy closet that was our life and put it back in a way that resembled an ad for the container store. over the months dan and i applied ourselves to our marriage, we struggled, we bridled, we jockeyed for position.
going over the latest news and rumors in the industry as well as comic hauls and reviews on their recently read comic books. is streamed saturday’s 4pm pst/7pm est at /c/marriedwithissues audio version of youtube live show married with issues, hosted by solgr & fusha only. is streamed saturday’s 4pm pst/7pm est at /c/marriedwithissues this week we show the latest haul from the his and hers comic book hunt! for the full married with issues experience, catch the show live every saturday at 4pm pst on youtube: /c/marriedwithissuesand don’t forget to check out the official blog of married with issues: .com/follow married with issues on instagram: /marriedwithissuesfacebook page: /marriedwithissues— send in a voice message: /marriedwithissues/message this week we went live a day later than usual to show the amazing find that solgr pulled out of the wild at the last second of the his and hers comic book hunt.
after taking an unplanned, although much needed, hiatus fusha and i unbox an aok (act of kindness) from comic book community superstars g-man and queen g. do yourself a favor and check out their channel here: /channel/ucrwun9x_rrh6aphylv1l7jw *also on that channel is that time of the month! you can follow that here: .com/— send in a voice message: /marriedwithissues/message after taking last week off, solgr and fusha return to celebrate the second anniversary of the married with issues channel and flagship podcast, married with issues live! every saturday 4pm pst at /c/marriedwithissues and don’t forget to sub to the channel!follow the blog at .com as well— send in a voice message: /marriedwithissues/message for the second consecutive year solgr and fusha only are devoting the first show of the new year to look back at some of the highlights from the previous year as well as look into the coming one. solgr and fusha kick back and chop it up about some of the silver linings from this past year, as well as discuss some of their plans for the channel and the comic community this coming year. *for the full “issues” experience, catch the show live!
one of the most common causes of marital problems includes lack of communication or miscommunication. if you are unclear about your feelings, can you really improve your marriage? is it risky to try? one wife takes her husband through the world of marriage therapies. audio version of youtube live show married with issues, hosted by solgr & fusha only. in this weekly series, your favorite nerdy newly-weds dive into the, .
married with issues. 79 likes. married with issues is a weekly live youtube show, hosted by married collectors solgr & fusha only, covering nerd culture, which marital problems am i having? we just don’t communicate very well—all we do is argue. there’s no passion or spark in our marriage i don’t trust him/her, . ten common problems in marriagecommunication issues. the most common complaint among married couples is lack of communication. ignoring boundaries. lack of sexual intimacy. emotional or sexual infidelity. fighting about money. selfishness. value differences. different life stages.
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