it can turn your world upside down and make it hard to get through the work day and stay productive. but there are things you can do to get through this difficult adjustment. it’s normal to feel sad, angry, exhausted, frustrated and confused—and these feelings can be intense. even if the marriage was unhealthy, venturing into the unknown is frightening. give yourself permission to feel and to function at a less than optimal level for a period of time. you may not be able to be quite as productive on the job or care for others in exactly the way you’re accustomed to for a little while. sharing your feelings with friends and family can help you get through this period. isolating yourself can raise your stress levels, reduce your concentration, and get in the way of your work, relationships and overall health. don’t be afraid to get outside help if you need it. be good to yourself and to your body. keep to your normal routines as much as possible.
avoid power struggles and arguments with your spouse or former spouse. take time to explore your interests. have you always wanted to take up painting or play on an intramural softball team? sign up for a class, invest time in your hobbies, volunteer, and take time to enjoy life and make new friends. things may not be the same, but finding new activities and friends, and moving forward with reasonable expectations will make this transition easier. if you have children, family traditions will still be important but some of them may need to be adjusted. reassure and listen. listen to and ease their concerns, and be compassionate but direct in your responses. now that your kids may share time with both parents separately, make sure to agree in advance on bedtimes, curfews and other everyday decisions, as well as any punishments. make and keep realistic promises. and don’t overly confide in them about your feelings about the divorce. avoid arguing with or talking negatively about the other parent in front of your kids.
if you agree about your separation arrangements. you should write down what you decide. it can be in any format, but you might want to say that you agree to:. 1. don’t publicize it 2. don’t move out 3. don’t maintain the status quo 4. don’t date just to date 5. don’t delay the inevitable. according to legal and marriage experts, if you and your spouse are considering separation, there are a few things to keep in mind., positive signs during separation, positive signs during separation, separated but not divorced: 7 painful pitfalls to avoid, how to separate from spouse while living together, life after separation from husband.
be honest with yourself about why you really want to separate u2013 and be honest with your partner too. sit down and talk honestly with each other. try to listen to and honor each other’s viewpoint instead of descending into a fight. you both need to be clear on why the separation is happening and the expected outcome. reassure your children that they are loved and that they have done nothing wrong. help them understand that this separation is happening because accept that you will need time — coming to terms with the separation won’t be immediate. embrace your changing role — don’t panic if your former partner did i don’t want to split up your partner may want to separate but you may feel that the problems you’re experiencing aren’t that serious., not legally separated but living apart, how to start a separation, what not to do when your separated, does a husband have to support his wife during separation, emotions during separation, how to deal with separation when a child is involved, marriage separation plan, splitting up with partner with child, benefits of separation, marriage separation checklist.
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