an intensive is a period of counseling over 3-5 days that allows our licensed counselors to help you get to the root of your issues. even with weekly marriage counseling, the start-and-stop of 50-minute sessions can make it difficult to get to root issues. you come in, unpack the week, go home, and experience more conflict. an intensive allows you the gift of uninterrupted time, which allows our counselors to help you make the progress you want.
the ability for you to be free from all distractions is an essential part of the path to healing that we offer. most couples that attend an intensive are experiencing a significant amount of marital distress, or have even begun the divorce process. if you find yourselves stuck in patterns and cycles of conflict, an intensive could be right for you. we’ve heard it all, and you are not alone.
the newness of the environment helps, as does the total focus on your relationship and what it means to each of you. if you are on the verge of divorce, you need a single laser-like clinical focus. you also want to know not only “can this marriage be saved…” but should it be. this marital evaluation we call a “state of the union” assessment. if you are in this type of marriage, each of you is blinded by the pain of repetitive hostility. neither of you gives the other the “benefit of the doubt.” every effort to change the way you relate is a herculean assertion that is seldom effective. there is no “ceasefire,” or downtime from being on edge and no rest. did you know that just two arguments a week keeps you and your household in a constant state of tension? you’ll have the time to delves deeply into the source of the conflict and to release the tension.
both of you will learn how to settle the disagreement when it arises quickly and effectively. maybe you thought immediately about an affair, but there are many other types of betrayals. and of course if one of you had sex outside the marriage, that’s a regrettable incident. when a past even gets thrown out, time and again in a fight, like a vampire refusing to die, this is a regrettable incident. it is a moment-by-moment reality that a skilled therapist leans into. the offending partner moves into and through their own blind spots into a deeper emotional resonance. you can compare yourself to other couples and feel lucky. often you don’t feel entitled to your misery. they can appear friendly and efficient, but passionless. they come to a marriage intensive to bring back the life, enthusiasm, and passion they’re missing. you’ll develop a deeper appreciation for what brought you together and what’s keeping you apart.
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