when it came to marriage, one of her favorite sayings was, “always respect each other. here, i asked 15 people for the best marriage advice they ever received from their parents. the best marriage advice i received from my parents was to: “love each other as you are, not as you wish the other to be.” the best marriage advice from my parents is: “always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling.” the best marriage advice i ever received was from my mother — and it was the same advice her mother-in-law gave her when she married my dad: “invest in the largest mattress you can afford.” but the best advice my mother ever gave me was: “don’t ask who you want to be with forever, ask who you want to be with today, then the forever question answers itself.”
the best advice my late stepfather gave me was to: “never go to bed upset with your spouse.” my parents told my husband and i to start making decisions together from the very beginning — to work as a team when it comes to every aspect of our relationship. during the times when we struggle, knowing that we are in this together helps us make our way to the other side of whatever circumstance is in front of us. i didn’t follow her advice and married the one i had to chase. he was in the service and used to hitchhike to get to my house in sunshine, rain, or snow. recently, my parents came to spend time with their grandson while my husband and i headed for the florida keys for some alone time. sometimes, it really is that simple and is truly a choice.
it wasn’t until i started seeing more of how other people’s parents interacted with them and with each other that i realized exactly how rare it seems to be for two people to be married for so long and still seem to enjoy it so much. “you’re aware of 100% of the stuff you do and a small portion of the stuff the other person does,” my dad says. “when you have words to express what’s going on, it pulls a lot of the anxiety out of it. but when you give it a name and have a way of talking about it, it’s manageable.” my parents have about a thousand of these shorthands for resolving misunderstandings, but my personal favorite is “those stupid idiots.” if one of my parents comes to the other looking for empathy about a difficult situation and the other spends time trying to see where the other party is coming from or giving unwanted advice, the complaining party can simply say, “your line is ‘those stupid idiots.
my dad says taking time to build up the structure of committed love can protect you from so many obstacles. if you only try to fix your teeth when it’s a problem, it’s gonna be a lot of pain getting it fixed. he works hard at being romantic and creating adventures.” i asked my parents how they avoid having the same conversations over and over again when they’ve known each other for around 75% of their lives at this point. “saying, this isn’t about me getting my way or you not respecting me, or whatever.” she says there’s a lot of freedom in realizing that two people who live together aren’t going to see everything the same way, and that it doesn’t have to be the end of the world if you can discuss those differences without judgement or defensiveness.
the best marriage advice from my parents is: “always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling.” my husband is an attorney and i’m a 1. practice, don’t preach 2. a marriage doesn’t have to be perfect to be good and long-lasting 3. you can offer hope even if your marriage didn’t last 4. get you will be far more skilled in some areas than your partner and they will be far more skilled in others. if you can orient toward gratitude for, funny marriage advice for newlyweds, funny marriage advice for newlyweds, wedding advice for the couple, marriage advice from mom to son, marriage advice to a son.
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