take, for example, one of the most widely read books on love, the 5 love languages (chapman, 2010). according to the book, when both partners share the same dominant love language, the relationship will go more smoothly and be higher quality. first, it’s important to note that love languages have not been widely studied. consistent with chapman’s suggestions, researchers determined each partner’s primary love language based on which of the five languages had the highest score. more recently, research took the matching idea a step further by looking at which love language each partner wanted, what they gave, and what they received (polk & egbert, 2013).
according to the love language theory, the matched couples should easily have the best relationship quality. the best approach is to make science your love language and learn as much about relationships as possible so you can set your relationship up for success. speaking the language of relational maintenance: a validity test of chapman’s (1992) five love languages. the interaction between love language and marital alignment on marital satisfaction for selected married individuals. there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma.
dr chapman realized the conflict came down to a difference in the definition of love: if one person feels loved when they’re complimented, and the other shows love by giving a gift, they can both start feeling invisible to each other. if you’re experiencing tension with someone who has this love language, try to think of the last time you set aside time to focus on them and talk to them. to these people a chore is never just a chore; if they’re always doing the housework or taking care of tasks for you it’s a sign that they care about you.
to people who prefer this language, a gift is a symbol of the time someone has spent thinking about them and thinking about what would make them happy. when we truly care about someone, we jump at the chance to better know how to make them feel loved, and the five love languages can be instrumental in that process. we invite you to join in on the conversation.this website does not provide medical advice.
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