when you fall for someone, the world is a wonderful place of hearts and unicorns. fast forward a few years and your starry-eyed romance have morphed into a humdrum existence of who’s turn it is to do the dishes or cook dinner. to say that it takes a lot of effort to keep things exciting and to keep the spark alive would be an understatement. when the relationship is new, you can’t wait to get alone and spend some quality time with each other. “intimacy is not just about sex; it is also about emotional connection, romance and touch. so how exactly can couples work to move past this, you ask? when the relationship is new, you love everything about your partner, even their annoying habits. the best to do in this situation is to not be harsh and demanding to your partner.
talking to each other for hours over the phone in the initial days of courtship or texting each other every 30 minutes at the beginning of the relationship is quite common. however, there comes a point where you’ve discovered everything about each other and there’s nothing else to say anymore. “the major cause of boredom is that couples feel that they’ve discovered enough about their partner and no longer need to get to know them. to tackle this, both partners need to form new love maps,” elaborates sonawani. well, they’re new ways to re-engineer the way you perceive your partner, gather information about your partner and find new things about your partner. more often than not, a lot of people end up in a relationship to fulfil a particular need or criteria. sadly, when that is fulfilled, they’re unable to find meaning in the relationship. once the relationship is clear and you realise that you did not find a partner to fulfil a need, but on the contrary, you met someone you liked, and then, later on, realise which needs are getting fulfilled, these issues can be nipped in the bud and tackled,” explains sonawani. but, if it’s just you who is trying to fix things, then you might want to step back and re-evaluate your relationship.
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