healing from infidelity is hard, painful work; both of you must be committed to repairing the damage, rebuilding trust, and reconnecting. wavebreakmedia/shutterstockif you both make a commitment to follow these strategies with your whole heart, your marriage has a good chance of surviving infidelity—and emerging stronger on the other side. you need to reach the point where you can talk about it without pain. if you leave out details that emerge later, your spouse may feel newly betrayed. you can’t speed up your spouse’s healing process, and you shouldn’t ever negate its significance.
you want to scream and rail at your partner. you want to scream, cry, and lash out—but big emotions may prevent your spouse from making the full disclosure that leads to recovery and surviving infidelity. “the only way your spouse will be willing to answer is if you can manage not to lash out and attack every time. reconnecting with family and friends, and even finding a support group to join, can help you feel less isolated while you’re in the middle of surviving infidelity. forgiveness allows you to move past the pain and rage and to reconcile with your partner.
it’s a painful, deeply personal experience and only you know what course of action you should take to get beyond the affair. below, our readers on facebook and twitter share their best advice for dealing with an affair — many of them drawing on their personal experience. “it took me a while to get past it but what helped me was to remind myself that their behavior is their choice. you have no control over them. you, on the other hand, are awesome and can handle it. “let go of the anger. i am a good person (you are too, whether you know it or not) and i deserve the best. my ex running off with another woman gave me the freedom to find what was best for me.” “cry, scream, and have a fit. there’s nothing worse than people telling you to stay calm and pull it together.” “take the time to think about your situation.
you don’t have to make a decision right away. the first time i forgave, but i had a plan in case it happened again. when it inevitably did, i knew exactly what i was going to do, where i was going to live, where my kids would go to school, my work and child support situation.” “remember it was their choice, despite anything that may have happened in the past or present in the relationship. while you don’t have to forget you do have to forgive — openly and honestly. but the main thing to keep in the forefront of your mind is that it was their brokenness, not yours, that led them to the choice. it was their inability to uphold the sanctity of the marriage vows that caused this to happen.” “i guess it depends on whether the other person wants to work through things. you only have today.” you don’t have to make any decisions right away.” “remember: their cheating is not a reflection on you but on them. you, on the other hand, can hold your head up high.”
1. “it took me a while to get past it but what helped me was to remind myself that their behavior is their choice. 2. “let go of the anger. 3. infidelity doesn’t necessarily mean a marriage is over. consider steps to promote healing and seek advice about additional reading from a professional. infidelity breaks trust. this author gets honest about building a partnership back up after a devasting affair., when to walk away after infidelity, 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse, 10 common marriage reconciliation mistakes to avoid after infidelity, 10 years after infidelity, 10 years after infidelity.
even if you have decided to end your marriage, sharing details about an affair will only put your kids in an untenable position, causing them anxiety, learn what is infidelity in marriage, its causes, and turn things around with expert here’s an insightful piece of advice from her where she explains in lay the responsibility for your relationship at the feet of yourself and your partner. create a space within that relationship for difficult, privacy after cheating, dealing with infidelity years later, how to help my wife heal after i cheated, how to treat a cheating husband, my husband cheated and i can’t get over it, infidelity in marriage, impact of infidelity on betrayed spouse, how to stop overthinking after being cheated on, how to ignore a cheating husband, successful relationships after cheating. here are a few important actions to take together that can help repair your relationship.make sure there is remorse.be honest about why it happened.remove temptations to re-engage with the affair.move forward with brutal honesty and care.be selective about who you tell.consider working with a licensed therapist.
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