gnash may be singing about a breakup in her top ten billboard hit, but even during the best of times couples can feel conflicted. in fact, i recently asked a group of a dozen (basically happily) married women at my book club (it’s more like a drink wine and talk club), if they ever “hated” their husbands. here’s the relationship advice experts suggest if you currently resent, or even feel like you hate your husband, especially if you want to restore your marriage. relationship expert dr. juliana morris says that in her practice, couples often use the word “hate” to make an exaggerated point about someone or something that they find beyond irritating. but on the opposite end of the spectrum, morris says, some couples are so disconnected, they don’t even spend enough time with each other to get annoyed! relationship expert marla mattenson says, “if you don’t go through periods of annoyance and even disgust towards your partner, you haven’t broken through the superficial barrier and explored the dark crevices that make up the whole person.” you’re such a slob!” what you may actually be feeling is disappointment that he isn’t pulling his weight with the chores.
for example, “i would feel a lot less resentful and would be less cranky if you’d help remove that obstacle from my day.” insight into where the root of the hate comes from will help you make changes for a more fulfilling relationship. she says to ask yourself, “what needs of mine aren’t being met right now?” and then take time for yourself so that you can feel more loving. “instead of obsessing about what you are hating, make list of what he’s done right,” she says. spending uninterrupted time together outside of your routine will give you the opportunity to reconnect. “if you find that hating your spouse is a sustained state, the two of you should seek help to work through your issues,” macgregor says. “that trapped, hopeless, helpless feeling breeds resentment, anger, and hate.” talking through your issues with a trusted counselor or therapist can help you figure out whether the relationship can be mended or whether it’s time to get a divorce.
the type that leaves you struggling to remember the last time you enjoyed your wife’s company, and even has you entertaining thoughts of infidelity or divorce. bobby points out that many wives resent their husbands because “they often feel frazzled, frustrated, and resentful about the higher level of mental energy and material energy they are expected to devote to their household, career and families.” “what i’ve often seen in my marriage counseling and couples therapy practice is that men are more likely than women to feel emotionally neglected by their partners,” bobby says.
cultural expectations based in the concept of men as “hunter-gatherers” have reinforced an idea that equates the ability to provide with bringing value to a partnership or family. then they can even start to view the people closest to them, who are now noticing their lack of energy, engagement, and productivity as the enemy.” “for women, the first step is often understanding, sometimes for the first time, that their husbands are just as in need of love, affection, and compassion as they are. “if, or when, you’re ready to connect with your partner, you can bring them in to the couples therapy process.”
you see, you may say “i hate my husband”, but hate is a very emotive word. hate is not the opposite of love, like many of us think. hate is a strong word. but in a marriage, couples may often feel like they hate each other. is this a normal feeling? what does it mean to hate may really be buried resentment, depression, and a host of other emotions. according to a marriage therapist, it’s not always cause for, my marriage is making me depressed, i’m so unhappy in my marriage but i can’t leave, i hate my husband reddit, i hate my husband reddit, i hate my husband quiz.
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