healthy breakup advice

there’s a great deal of advice on the internet about how to survive a bad breakup, but comparatively little about how to end a relationship as gently as possible. your goal, in breaking up with him or her as gently as possible, is to acknowledge the parts of the relationship that were good and validate those experiences: it wouldn’t be fair to cast a pall over those memories by ending the relationship in a hurtful way or by “ghosting” a partner. you can expect to feel guilt in the period leading up to the breakup and afterward. some may seem as if they’ll make a difficult situation even harder, but in the end, if you do what’s recommended here, and avoid what’s discouraged, you and your ex may be able to look back on the breakup with dignity, resolve, and clarity. it’s essential to be physically present to show that the relationship was important to you.




show your partner the respect inherent in closure. most likely, you’ll also be questioned about your reasons for breaking up, and it will be easier for your partner to ask these questions if the event occurs in a safe and at least semi-private location. if you’re certain you need to break up, it’s better not to leave the relationship open-ended. the goal is to allow your partner to look back on the relationship as a good thing, not to change it into something less well-defined. by following these guidelines, you stand a good chance of putting a clear and respectful end to a relationship in a way that will allow each of you, someday, to look back with appreciation on the time you spent together. there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma.

“as with many challenging life circumstances, you may find yourself not sleeping, eating, or adapting after a breakup, on what you or friends and family feel is a normal course of recovery,” says zach ortiz, a one medical md in phoenix. regardless of how long the relationship lasted, it was a significant part of your life and it’s important to honor the fact that it’s over. “when you surface from your loss, celebrate the fact that you gave a piece of you to someone else,” ortiz says.

“it doesn’t mean that you can’t be close in the future, but during the breakup, it’s healthy to have some space to process everything that’s happening in your head and heart,” he says. “spending time with family and friends can be a great way to focus on other important people in life,” dua says. “after a breakup, the reflex is to go straight to self-pity, self-blame, and negative thinking when you should really spend that time on self-love,” says alexis atwater, an md in washington, dc.

some things to help you after a break up: give yourself some space. keep busy. take time out for you. talk to family, friends, elders and others who can prioritize self-care brings you joy (see friends, have a new experience, spend time on your favorite hobby) nurtures you (exercise, meditate, people are not well equipped to deal with break-ups, because we rarely are taught anything about healthy coping after a break-up. this handout is designed to, signs you should not break up, how to break up with someone you care about, reasons to break up with someone you love, how to break up with your boyfriend when you still love him.

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