the idea that you could have multiple partners wasn’t strange to me at all. but they have helped me get clearer about my boundaries – to know the difference between what is an absolute “no-no” and a “maybe”. the reason we use the term “ethical” in ethical non-monogamy (enm) is because here, consent is both informed and enthusiastic. we’ve both felt it and we make it a point to sit together on the couch and discuss the why and how of whatever it is that we’re feeling. who is in charge of my body? the idea that i can safely assert my choices without being judged is what constitutes the human experience for me.
i grew up with a very strong sense of community; my childhood in a small town in canada had all the makings of a characteristically normal, suburban life. i’d keep telling my family how i was the only circle to their squares. so, at the start, i did hesitate to take advantage of the openness of the relationship. in the hyper-aware world we live in, slut shaming is never direct but is buried under jokes and offhand remarks. but i was happy that my grandmother, who is simply my favourite person in the world, celebrated my relationship and was happy for me. deepak and i are always on the same page.
now, after 15 years of boyfriends and break-ups, i know it’s a conversation i’d want to have with any potential partner. here, a gay couple from atlanta—23-year-old tyler and 31-year-old mark—share the story of their open relationship. mark and i started chatting on the phone or facetiming, like, every available minute, but at first we weren’t committed to one another. one night, we were in different cities and both of us ended up meeting a guy we found attractive. after that we sat down and set the parameters of our open relationship.
and i think that’s partly because of the age difference. i feel like part of the reason tyler and i have this open relationship is to stop jealousy from having a seat at the table. i think my mom sort of knows we have an “arrangement,” but she doesn’t need to know the nitty-gritty details. for me, it’s an important release and a reminder of my commitment to tyler. but if there’s a hint of jealousy in your relationship already, tread lightly.
30% of gay men are in open relationships, according to new study forty-two percent tell their primary partners about other sexual contacts, gay men in open relationships: what works? talk about it openly with your partner remember why you want a long term partner listen (for real) define your we talked to people in open relationships and a sex therapist to find out why polyamorous relationships are so common among the queer, .
deepak and james talk about the freedom – and responsibilities – that they find in a relationship that allows having multiple partners. here, a gay couple from atlanta—23-year-old tyler and 31-year-old mark—share the story of their open relationship. there’s no right or wrong for gay men, open relationships aren’t unusual, but the arrangements vary. some couples agree only to three-ways with both partners present., .
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