you might have to learn to deal with situations that you weren’t prepared for and didn’t ask for. the study also showed that an alarming 60% of women have problems with their partners’ mothers. how her parents take the situation is a good summary of what these kinds of conflict are often about. parents often think they’ve educated their children well and instilled certain values in them but, at the end of the day, they choose partners that don’t necessarily fit the family’s expectations. otherwise, the very foundations of the relationship will be on unstable ground. of course, some parents are emotionally stable and understand boundaries. they’re perfectly capable of having a respectful and healthy relationship with their children’s significant others. it’s easy to start a relationship with someone and be completely ignorant of their toxic family dynamic.
a family can be like its own tiny universe with its own laws and dynamics. you might feel that the family doesn’t approve of you and that you aren’t good enough. for example, making their partner choose between them and their family. they sometimes end up being the scapegoat that puts up with everything out of love for their partner. as tempting as it is to want to completely shut your partner’s family out, that doesn’t usually solve the problem. sometimes your in-laws can be wonderful, welcoming, and even be there for you in moments of crisis. if you deal with family issues in a mature and timely manner, your relationship will be better off in the long run. the kangaroo grandparents of the 21st century have a different role than the grandparents of yesteryear. in no way is this information intended to replace a physician’s diagnosis or act as a substitute for the work of a qualified professional.
there are some red lines in a relationship—topics or issues that can be difficult, maybe nearly impossible, to talk about or take on. even when you know that your family is difficult, unreasonable, or just a bit confusing, it’s totally natural to get defensive and overprotective of them, which is why if you’re struggling with your partner’s family, it can be really hard to talk about. if you don’t love your partner’s family, but you only see them a few times a year and it’s slightly awkward, there’s no real reason to pick a fight or make your partner feel uncomfortable. but if their family is really difficult or toxic, and you feel like it’s having an impact on you, your partner, or your relationship, then you may need to say something. although you want to be careful how you choose your words, you also can’t beat around the bush.
“if you feel like your partner’s family is treating you poorly or causing trouble in your relationship, you should have some clear examples and let your partner know immediately. if they are there in the moment, bring it up when you are alone.” there’s a good chance that your partner is going to be resistant to hearing or seeing things that are wrong with their family—even if it’s incredibly obvious to you. “i can’t stress enough how important it is to try and be on the same page as your partner about this,” hartstein says. make sure you reiterate to your partner that this is about the two of you being strong and keeping your relationship healthy. “you might not love all of your partner’s family, but you do need to respect and honor the relationship that existed before you came on the scene.” knowing how to handle issues with your partner’s family can be sensitive, and we all have to accept a little awkwardness and ruffled feathers from time to time. be respectful, but be direct—the sooner you and your partner start to deal with the problem, the easier it will be.
do you worry that your family is interfering too much in your relationship? do they butt in with opinions? perhaps they’re hostile towards your partner? interfamily dynamics, conflicts, and arguments are very common. what’s more, the magazine psychology today published a study that revealed that “difficult family can be a very big problem in a relationship,” says relationship therapist aimee hartstein. “it’s actually a litmus test of, my boyfriend is having family problems, don’t let family ruin your relationship quotes, my girlfriend’s family is ruining our relationship, how family can ruin your relationship.
disliking someone based on these factors is called prejudice, and that has more to do with your family members than your partner. how you handle this depends on how to deal: come up with a plan with your mate, and then break it to your family, gently. “assure your parents that you and your partner want environment. awkward household dynamics such as living in close proximity to others can cause tension and negativity. changes to the family differences of, my boyfriend s family is toxic, my boyfriend s family is toxic, family disapproves of relationship, should i break up with my boyfriend because of his family, losing family over boyfriend, involving parents in relationship problems, when your spouse talks bad about your family, how to help your partner with family problems, should i tell my boyfriend about my family problems, involving family in your relationship, what to do when parents interfere with relationships.
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