my fiancée earns nearly twice what i do, but says she wants to be a stay at home mom until the youngest is 10-12 years old. what if you hate your new job and want to quit without another one? what if we plan on not having children but i get pregnant and want to keep the baby? if neither of you are active do they intend to start attending worship in the future? do you make enough to stay home? can you deal with it the rest of your life? tko and all you have to do is say it. do you like pets, what kind and how many do you want to have? how will you handle the difference, and what happens if you have a child that will not make it or is severely disabled and you find out pregnant? do you want to stay where we are, or move? if one of you is low-libido and the other is high, you’re going to have a bad time. extended family/religion: what prominence do each of you expect these things to play in your life? if that’s the case, it could be an issue and i’d want to know sooner than later.
do you want them? what if his brother gets in an accident and needs you to be his medical advocate for the rest of his life. where you want to live is huge… what happens if a spouse gets the chance at a dream job somewhere? you can do group sex / go poly if you both agree on that or just lock-up yourselves in a tall tower never to be disturbed forever. if you want kids and are open to having many, be cautious of a pro-choice partner. you have to share or be flexible to learn and enjoy each other’s hobbies. do you trust the person, and do they trust you, to have some say in each other’s financial decisions? how big do you want yours to be? write down a list, both of you, of how you see your lives going and what you’ll need to get there. do you want to own a house? do you want to rent and invest money? are you okay having a close friend that you can confide it and are you okay with your spouse having the same? the night i asked her ‘why do you love me?’ and all she could give me was ‘because you’re a good father’ was when she finally agreed to see someone. if fact, the last one is the only way i can justify why a relationship she had with another woman isn’t an affair—i found numerous books on lesbianism on her kindle, books about being in love with another woman while married to a man.
while you can’t prevent life from getting in the way (and unexpected barriers and obstacles coming up) you can make sure your relationship is as strong as possible to withstand them. even if you disagree on a lot of it but it’s all negotiable, you can work through that,” she says. “you can ask any question whenever you want, because at the end of the day if you’re thinking it and if it’s something that’s important to you, you don’t want to be wasting your time.” one of the best things you can do for your partner is to learn how to help them when they’re down. everyone hears that communication is crucial for a relationship, but it can be tricky to know how to have healthy communication if you both seem to have different communication styles.
knowing these nonnegotiables will give you a good sense of the landscape of your future and whether it works for both of you. it might not be an easy question, but it’s one that can get you right to the bottom of what makes someone tick. “do you have any fantasies about what you’re looking for in a marriage and in your partnership?” is a question you should also ask according to lee. there’s no guaranteed way to divorce-proof your marriage, but you can give it the best chance at surviving and thriving.
biggest one i can tell you to discuss. talk about what if he loses his job. what if she decides she doesn’t want kids. what if his brother gets in an accident couples don’t need to be in complete agreement about everything. but wiley says you will need to find a way to respect each other’s differing 13 questions to ask before getting married 1. did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreements, .
will in-laws expect attendance at certain holidays and occasions? will you expect your spouse to take part in your family’s traditions or will you start new traditions to celebrate events? will vacations be shared with a spouse’s family? consider what obligations may arise to help provide care for aging parents. , . 31 things to discuss before you get marriedwhat are your finances really like? do you want children? how would you raise your children? what about if having children isn’t straightforward? what does religion mean to you? what kind of wedding do you really want? where do you want to live?
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