it’s monday morning and i am off to work after another sexless weekend in an almost sexless marriage. this is me who used to be the most calm, care-free individual you could meet. we go to bed, turn our backs to each other and sleep — well i try, but can’t sleep properly because of the anxious, negative thoughts. imagine the feelings if someone you love, who used to be your enthusiastic physical and emotional partner, just loses all interest, with no explanation. my approach in trying to address all this varies — from staying upbeat in the hope that i might get lucky, to giving up and just going to bed and keeping my mouth shut and trying to sleep. i was talking to the wrong person. i appreciate that this is a common problem, but what is the answer? you are dodging confrontation. you don’t actually want to hear what your wife has to say.
the real terror lies in the decisions you will have to make when you hear the truth. what to do is truly the question, and one you don’t wish to face. in counselling you were talking to the wrong person. except, perhaps, in counselling you might have explored your reluctance to hear the truth, talked about your terror, and garnered courage to do what you have to do — namely sit down with your wife and do some straight talking. you hope your wife will miraculously return to the old sexy togetherness. it’s not possible to stay upbeat, laid-back, accepting and cool, when you don’t know what’s going on. so you’re angry, down, and undoubtedly often difficult to live with — which at the very least compounds the problem. you are allowing yourself to be treated badly by your wife. i understand you’re scared you may have to make a stand, and then lose her, the kids, the house, the whole package.
in hindsight i think this was a big mistake, as i am now in the situation that i can no longer initiate sex, and if i want sex it is when my wife wants it. i do feel a bit selfish feeling the way i do since i do understand what she is going through, but it is getting to the point that i can no longer deal with it. i have already resigned myself to not trying to have sex anymore, it’s easy for me to deal with if it is off the table. i just need to make sure that it is all handled the right way and that i have given my best effort. she will notice everything, maybe not at the beginning but she will and she may even try to have sex with you to see if that is why you are being so nice and by you not wanting it she will see that you truly love, support and appreciate her for who she is. i don’t believe my wife is obligated to have sex with me, however i do believe that both people in a relationship have an obligation to show the other one that they are loved. i agree with mr walker that your spouse needs to be your best friend too and openness and honesty is the best way. then, and this was the hard bit, i did my best not to mention sex or frustration.
we have talked/ argued about this but she just in the end shrugs and says she has no drive and if i ‘need’ it i have to try harder. from a business perspective if i were that clinical about it i would take her to court and sue for breach of contract. you both need to decide if you want to be in a relationship and try and make it work or not. i did stick to the plan that i had for a couple of months, but nothing really changed at all. eventually my wife asked me why i hadn’t been asking for sex at all anymore and i told her that worrying about it was causing me a lot of anxiety, so i just stopped. i think the concept of marriage and having to stay with someone no matter how depressed you are is not fair and unrealistic. it sounds as though she is feeling pressured to have sex and that has turned sex into a chore for her. however, what if the man is doing all those things that many women recommend ( housework, compliments, not trying to initiate sex etc) for 3 years and there is still no change in the partners attitude.
i am 41 years old, married for 14 years, with a beautiful and attractive wife who very clearly has no feelings for me — physical, anyway. we go to bed, turn the first thing i would recommend is don’t bring it up with your wife until you’ve done some more homework. don’t mention sex, absolutely shut a sexless marriage can also be caused by both emotional and physical health issues. depression or stress, as well as many medications, can decrease libido., when to walk away from sexless marriage, my sexless marriage is killing me, sexless marriage quiz, sexless marriage quiz, depressed wife no intimacy.
living in a sexless marriage or being without the physical contact and reassurance of love associated with sex can be detrimental to a marriage. feeling unwanted by your spouse or coping with sexless marriage can cause a strong depression. this depression is usually marked by symptoms such as: irritability. when your partner no longer wants to be intimate with you, it can make you feel incredibly lonely and depressed. this leaves you vulnerable to google searches for ‘sexless marriage’ are apparently eight times more depression, anxiety, health and stress can all leave people less at our therapy practice in simi valley, ca we offer child therapy and family counseling, teen therapy, anxiety treatment, depression therapy, marriage, sexless marriage and affairs, sexless relationship before marriage, sexless marriage effect on husband, sexless relationship at 30, sexless marriage testimonies, resentment sexless marriage, sexless marriage quotes, no intimacy in marriage from husband, how to deal with a sexless marriage as a woman, sexless relationship in your 20s.
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