it doesn’t happen in the first weeks and months of a new and exciting relationship. it takes the willingness to make mistakes and to forgive them in the name of learning. getting to the intimate core of a relationship requires that both people work through their fear. the couple has agreed on a definition of fidelity and both feel secure that the other will not violate that understanding. if being in the relationship with your boyfriend/girlfriend requires that you give up who you really are, that you always accommodate, or that you make fundamental changes to be acceptable, this person is not for you.
whatever your decision about fidelity, there needs to be something you both agree is the core of what makes your relationship special, precious, and unique from all others. agree to work on finding and addressing the root of problems instead of exploding or withdrawing. intimacy requires facing problems with courage and with the faith that the relationship is more important than whatever crisis is going on in the moment. it is necessary to do our best and to be open to feedback when we miss the mark. experts theorize that it may have to do with the… you may feel uneasy about addressing people who have crossed your boundaries, but there are ways to deal with these situations calmly and assertively…
this is where we have the ability to truly see one another. take a risk of to be vulnerable and open yourself up to share from the heart. what is happening under the surface of your life and the veneer of your persona? just for this month, practice allowing your partner’s needs to take priority. assuming you have healthy boundaries, attune to what your partner wants or needs. let your partner take the lead. this is a buddhist/yogic concept of expanding the definition of who you are to include the ‘other.’ widening our perception of self to include another breeds understanding and union. a great time to do this is at night. when you can manage, try to go to bed at the same time, cuddle and reflect out loud.
what do you intend to create for the next day? get in the habit of reflecting the positive and holding each other in positive regard so you mirror back to your partner their positive attributes. consistency in authentic connection is the glue that keeps a relationship together. when we’re in relationship, it’s tempting to view our partner through an old, outdated perspective–who they were, how they acted or what they wanted before. give your man (or woman) the space, just like a child, to shape-shift, change, learn and grow. this creates more spaciousness to feel held and supported in who we are authentically today. after years of listening to couples in therapy, i can tell you it’s often (if not, usually) the smallest things that end up fracturing and eroding a relationship. gentle touches, thinking what they might want from the grocery store or reaching out sending them a text or a note at work in support go a long way in building a foundation and reservoir of love. details magazine recently named ashley turner “1 of the top 6 trainers to watch in 2014” and dr. oz’s sharecare.com calls her”the #2 online influencer for stress relief”. she works with clients worldwide via skype and leads transformative events to power points around the globe.
intimacy means deeply knowing another person and feeling deeply known. that doesn’t happen in a conversation in a bar or during a lovely day human connection isn’t passive—even the deepest love requires cultivation. ashley turner offers five tips to awaken deeper intimacy in your relationship. 1. open and honest communication to build trust 2. speak each other’s love languages’ 3. kiss more & kiss for longer 4. explore sensuality, .
deep intimacy isn’t for everyone because it takes courage to be emotionally raw and bear your soul. for those who choose to be courageous, they develop greater many if not most of us enter a romantic relationship from a place of need. we feel lonely; we need company. we feel anxious; we need to feel emotional intimacy involves candid, authentic sharing of thoughts and feelings. it involves being able to tell each other your deepest fears, .
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