dating someone without a chronic illness can be easier — it means you get to stay ignorant towards certain illnesses, you don’t have to be an emotional support when they need you, and you don’t have to watch the person you love being unwell. i constantly felt like i was letting him down whenever i had to cancel plans because i wasn’t feeling well. you expect them to be there to love and care for you when you need it. you expect them to be there for you emotionally, because having a chronic illness can be very detrimental to your mental health. and we’re used to feeling like we’re the ones letting people down, so we manage that by caring for ourselves, and minimizing how much pain we’re in because we’re so scared of being a burden. but i realized that if someone couldn’t be with me because i have a chronic health condition, it wasn’t a relationship i needed.
you set yourself up for rejection so you don’t have to reveal yourself by getting sick later, and risking going through the heartbreak of a breakup later on down the line. to him, it was just part of the package that he was interested in. i wish i had left my last relationship sooner, because i now know what it feels like to be with someone who doesn’t make me feel like there’s a ‘catch’ to dating me. you are someone they love and want to care for when times are bad. so if you’re someone who is currently put off by dating someone with a chronic illness, reevaluate your idea of a relationship. are you looking for something superficial, where there is no responsibility to support a partner when they need you? left-sided colitis is a form of ulcerative colitis.
deciding when to talk about your chronic illness with a new partner can be a difficult decision in and of itself, but you shouldn’t feel pressured to disclose it until you feel comfortable. if it is difficult for you to explain your chronic illness, take notes with bullet points about what you’re going to say to your partner, and bring those notes to the conversation. how your partner responds will tell you a lot about your relationship and their character.
“i think one of the gifts of having chronic illness is that it’s a great witness test, and a great detector for people you want in your life,” says virant. “it’s important that the person living with illness feels it in their gut on a day to day basis that they are somebody of value and worth, and their illness doesn’t make them any less valuable.” what’s more, recognize that you’ll bring many enriching aspects to a relationship based on your history with chronic illness. interview with kim gorgens, phd, clinical professor and director of continuing education at the graduate school of professional psychology at the university of denver interview with laurie ferguson, phd, clinical psychologist and vice president of research and education for the global healthy living foundation creakyjoints is a digital community for millions of arthritis patients and caregivers worldwide who seek education, support, advocacy, and patient-centered research.
be sure you’re up for the role discuss caretaking practice continued self-care maintain open communication. dating someone with a chronic illness isn’t something you should see as a chore. it’s not something that should put you off of getting to know learn more about how to discuss your chronic illness and disabilities with a new dating partner, plus signs a dating partner is a keeper., dating a guy with health issues, marrying someone with health problems, marrying someone with health problems, dumped because of chronic illness, dating someone with a degenerative disease.
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