in awe of its simplicity and clarity, i reinterpreted and reevaluated all of my close relationships—personal and professional—meticulously trying to determine how to improve them for the better. i’ve read a total of nine books that changed my love life, each of them helping me to see with a fresh set of eyes and feel with a freshly thawed heart. it has the potential to help you make sense of your entire dating history. one of the biggest eye-opening moments for me was learning that traumatic experiences and addictive patterns have a high correlation to codependent behaviors. they react to the problems, pains, lives, and behaviors of others. the only one who can truly victimize me is myself, and 99 percent of the time i choose to do that no more.
“please, if you can trust one thing i say in this book, let it be this: when it comes to men, deal with us as we are, not how you’d like us to be.” this book was a gift from my aunt, and is one of only three books on the list that i did not buy personally. true, lasting love is the culmination of small steps and mundane moments that add up over time to paint a picture of someone’s heart. one of the biggest takeaways for me after devouring this book was to be careful what i wish for in a relationship. the idea that i needed to be crystal clear about the top traits i was looking for in a mate was revolutionary for me. afterwards, they were both unhappy, as was i.” “when we expect something out of love, out of our relationship with another, then we will surely be disappointed for loving means having no expectations.” “love means letting each other be free and we cannot let the other be free if we ourselves are in chains… love is the expression of a person at peace with himself or herself.” why it changed my love life: allow me to be blunt for a second: this book should be required reading for all gay men. it is the slow process of learning to tolerate and reduce shame rather than avoid it. it is the freedom to be who you are, exactly as you are.
that’s why it’s important that we develop a strong foundation of self-care practices to help guide you through the dating world. this can be a great thing, but it can also be stressful because it puts a lot of pressure on you to make time in your schedule to meet up with a bunch of virtual strangers. the truth is that you don’t owe your time to anyone on a dating app. it can take a lot of time and a lot of patience before you meet someone that you ‘click’ with emotionally, intellectually, and physically.
nowadays, there’s a lot of pressure to move quickly in your sexual relationships. succumbing to the pressures of ‘hookup culture’ negatively impacts your emotional well-being because when you get intimate with someone before you’re truly ready, it can cause a lot of stress and anxiety in the relationship. the trouble is that when we ‘chase’ other people, you’re sending a subconscious signal to them that your life is missing something, when in fact, you want to be sending the opposite signal. the bottom line is that you should respect yourself enough to choose the thing that’s going to protect your mental and emotional well-being, even if it means letting go of a couple relationships along the way.
start to identify your dreams, your wants, and your needs. then, define your personal values, such as honesty, respect, faith, et cetera. when you live by your it has the potential to help you make sense of your entire dating “a general word of advice: it’s always more effective to assume the 5 self-care tips for when you’re dating don’t force yourself to go on dates that you’re not genuinely excited for don’t feel obligated to keep, dating self help books, dating self help books, best books on dating and relationships, best dating books for ladies, books on dating for guys.
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