while an older man dating a younger woman tends to raise less eyebrows than a woman’s romance with a younger man, the dynamic isn’t exactly stigma-free—particularly when the age gap is significant. when a young woman named courtney thornton (née barber) took flak both online and off in 2016 for falling in love with a man 25 years her senior, she started the hashtag #husbandnotdad to encourage others in the same boat to share their stories. “the older you get, the less of a challenge it’s likely to pose,” lester continues. stability, a strong sense of self, and advancement in his career are things older men can potentially bring to the table more often than a man in his 20s or 30s can, says sherman. a woman in her 40s or older has plenty of hard-won lessons and accomplishments of her own to tout, of course.
if his working days are behind him and you’re still focused on a job and all the ambitions, woes, and time demands that come with it, you may struggle to connect at the end of the day. “one person may feel like their goals are winding down and the other is winding up.” but what if you start talking politics and trends, only to discover he’s completely immovable in his views? “someone who grew up twenty years before you may have different cultural references, or a less liberal approach to certain political or social topics, which can cause friction in the early days when they meet your friends and family,” she says. “try remembering the things that you love about the person as an individual,” says paulette sherman, a psychotherapist and certified dating coach.
if you answered yes to either of these questions, you might want to consider dating an older man. you could be projecting stereotypes on to them just because of their age, hendrix says. maybe he wants to go on romantic weekend getaways every friday, but you can’t leave work until 8 or 9 p.m. because you’re still climbing the corporate ladder and have a **few** more years of grinding to do. if not, and this is the case, you might want to have a chat—or date younger. dating an older man might require you to become more vulnerable and let down a few your typical guards.
and you definitely don’t want to do that in a relationship with a sizable age gap, since they probably have a more concrete picture of the next few years. it’s important to understand what both of you want your lives to look like in the future. but you might reach a point of conflict when it comes to the style of communication. “you already get to see a preview of how the person ages and takes care of himself,” carmichael says. “just as he might be concerned about your student-loan payments, you have a right to be curious about aspects of his financial health,” carmichael says. the conversation might feel a little uncomf at first, but you definitely want to have this discussion well before the vows, carmichael says.
dating an older man in your 20s and 30s is much different than dating one in your 40s, 50s, and 60s. while an older man dating a younger woman an older man might not want to play the back-and-forth games of a younger gentleman. instead, he might be super direct and feel comfortable according to hendrix, older men tend to be good communicators because they have been in serious relationships and they want to get it right this, dating a man 10 years older than you, sleeping with a man 20 years older than me, older man younger woman, older man younger woman, how to dress when dating an older man.
dating an older man will mean that he would want things a certain way and it can even extend to his partners. he might start to seem controlling yes, dating an older man can be better because of all the experience, stability, and sense of security he brings to the relationship. with him, show your personality. older guys like a partner who is confident enough to be natural. let them see who you are and don’t try to act like someone else., marrying a man 10 years older, my boyfriend is 9 years older than me, dating a man 15 years older, older man younger woman relationship psychology.
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