dating coach advice

in the world of dating and looking for love, things can seem hard for many people. however, even when it’s not on us or not our fault, we still feel down and out when things end. people sometimes feel like they’re tired of dating altogether, which can be known as “dating fatigue,” (via psychology today). when we’re dating someone and feel like it’s not going the way we want it to, it can totally crush us.




as it turns out, this can be the reason behind why we feel so awful after things end. dating expert and coach matthew hussey explained in a tiktok video why so many people feel like giving up and “taking a break” from dating when things don’t work out with someone they’ve been seeing. when we see potential in someone, we give them all of us, even when they don’t deserve it or even when they show us that they’re not interested in the same ways. hussey said that these people become “vacuums,” sucking the energy out of us until we feel utterly depleted and burnt out. that way, when we find someone with potential to be the one, or even the one, we still have energy left in us and hope in us, too.

there’s a problem with a lot of modern dating advice. so, after a lot of thinking, i took a deep breath and decided to finally sign up for services offered by an online dating coach. and it started with this one little thing brené brown said: “when you get to a place where you understand that love and belonging, your worthiness, is a birthright and not something you have to earn, anything is possible.” a sense of worthiness is ground zero for how i started viewing myself within the bounds of a romantic relationship. embracing my worthiness wasn’t something that came naturally at first, and it made me realize that it’s ok to ask for help in this area. after a little poking around online, i took the leap and purchased a program offered through one of my favorite dating coaches who helped fill in the gaps of where my understanding of men was going wrong, or what was simply lacking. one of the game-changing lessons i learned was that it’s ok to ask for help.

signs of progress started appearing a few months after truly taking some of the advice to heart. turns out, we shared many interests, and it wasn’t long before the conversation pivoted to an offer for dinner that evening, which i accepted. the spontaneity of it all was magic, and when we left the conference, he remarked playfully, “if i didn’t pull you out of there, the other guys would have been lining up behind me.” i laughed at the irony of his statement. my tiny step of confidence was paying off big. i began to realize that i didn’t have to go out of my way or try anything fancy. this kind of confidence and my free-flowing social skills weren’t built in a day—and in so many ways, my process of self-growth is far from complete.

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having been exposed to this world of online dating coaches for so long— watching countless videos of theirs over the years — i finally decided hussey explained that many times, we put so much energy into everyone we date, even when they don’t deserve it. when we see potential in someone after a little poking around online, i took the leap and purchased a program offered through one of my favorite dating coaches who helped fill, best dating coaches on youtube, who is stephan speaks.

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