but if you actually want a partner-in-crime-docs, it means the dreaded putting yourself out there. it’s probably best that you have a general gauge of what you’re doing on the date so that you can suggest something else if it’s not your vibe (like, say, a concert). “it’s the same as a job interview – you don’t want to wear a brand new outfit and not know if it’s too tight or too short,” says dr. whitbourne. if you’re extra worried about running out of things to talk about, dr. whitbourne suggests a bit of pre-planning. and if you’re the only one doing the legwork (it’ll be pretty obvious if they’re giving you nothing to work with) – then your date just sucks and you can close out your tab in peace.
“it’s good to have a definite time you need it to be over with,” says dr. whitbourne. “if you had a couple of bad experiences with apps, you’re going to be even more nervous about it,” says dr. whitbourne. “if you don’t like an online app and you don’t want to go out, it’s going to make tough and put more pressure on you.” ok, so you found someone who’s great but wants to go out a liiiiittle more often than you do. “if you need a little push to get out and have fun, dating someone more extroverted can accomplish that,” says dr. hendriksen.
the good news is that being an introvert does not make you “really bad” at attracting partners, and it doesn’t mean that online dating has to suck. or maybe you find yourself nodding along with a profile description that foregrounds someone’s hobbies and passions or highlights how close they are to their friends and family. your profile shouldn’t be generic, but that doesn’t mean you need to cram it with everything someone might ever want to know about you. remember this: no matter how hard you try, there’s no way to create a profile that captures your full personality. maybe you’re learning to fence or writing a fantasy novel or caring for a family of 58 houseplants. if you wait a week or even just a few days to send someone a message (or reply to their messages!
one more thing: the point of chatting with someone on a dating site or app is to actually set up a date. introversion also doesn’t mean that you’re a bad conversationalist, that you don’t know how to have fun, or that other people don’t love spending time with you. remember, introversion comes with its own gifts and is not a liability when it comes to dating. for a long time, it never even occurred to me that i could be the one to say, “hey, i had a great time. once you’ve checked in with these physical sensations, it might be easier for you to decide how you feel about the date – and whether you’d like to see that person again. be bold and try being the one to suggest a follow-up date (or say, “thanks, but no thanks,” if that’s how you feel).
so, here’s my best advice on how you can bring your full, authentic, beautifully introverted self to your online dating adventures – and maybe even have a take the pressure off yourself to be an extravert, and avoid putting on a front. be honest about your personality type, and what you enjoy (, dating tips for introverted guys, dating tips for introverted guys, two introverts dating, online dating for introverts, introvert dating problems.
, dating app for introverts, dating an introvert woman. 7 dating tips for introvertscome prepared with good questions. choose an apt environment. practice grounding techniques. do a shared activity to get out of your (overthinking) head. consider other ways to meet someone u2014 so the connection can grow more organically u2014 aside from dating apps.
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