managing anger and managing your response to an angry partner is a useful skill that can promote intimacy and maturity in any romantic relationship. this doesn’t mean you have to sit down and solve a problem in the heat of the moment. you can’t make them talk to you, but you can share that you’re ready to share your thinking and work together when they’re ready. similarly, if you’re angry with your partner and want them to change a behavior, your attempt at controlling them is likely to produce a negative reaction.
it might feel critical to send a rude text to your partner while they’re at work or wake them up in the middle of the night with your grievances, but these strategies rarely accomplish more than escalating a conflict. and while there’s nothing wrong with sharing relationship conflict with your therapist, be aware that it’s their job to be neutral and help you do your best thinking—not to agree with you that your partner is the villain of the story. it looks like asking, “what is the best version of myself doing in this situation?” and you’re unlikely to see your best self slamming doors or screaming at people you love. when one person can make that choice for themselves, they’re likely to find a partner who can do the same.
it’s important to remember that anger and abuse are different, and that abuse is never ok. if you’re feeling unsafe in your relationship it’s important to speak with someone who can help you immediately. healthy anger can be a safety measure to warn you of a bad situation. use some of the following tips if you want to know how to change your relationship with anger that might be preventing you and your partner from growing together as a couple. eventually with enough practice, you’ll be able to let go of your anger and react in a calm manner that can be more productive and conducive to finding common ground.
a couples therapist can help you and your partner uncover the root of anger in your relationship. if you can use that first tip to pause for a beat, you might be able to pull something funny out of the situation and react to that, rather than your anger. anger can be a healthy emotion, but when it interferes with your relationship and life, you need to learn how to control it. above all, remember that anger is a ‘normal’ and common feeling; we are human beings. if you are in a life threatening situation – don’t use this site.
the way couples deal with anger can often make or break a relationship. don’t settle for screaming matches and slamming doors. here, a therapist offers tips to always fight fair. it’s okay to be upset at someone, but if you don’t fight fair, the relationship will quickly break down. fighting fair allows you to express own your anger. remind yourself that your anger belongs to you and that it is telling you something about yourself. anger is often directed at, .
anger management tips for relationships obtain a clear understanding of one’s feelings and thoughts before responding. assess how anger occurs, . think before you speak. one of the best tactics is to take a pause before reacting. once you’re calm, state what upset you. express your frustration in an assertive but nonconfrontational way. use humor to release tension. take a timeout. get exercise. practice relaxation skills. don’t hold a grudge. how to control anger in a relationship1 step away from the situation.2 take some deep breaths.3 think before speaking.4 be aware of your anger warning signs.5 repeat a calming phrase.6 identify the source of your anger.7 notice your negative thoughts.8 combat your negative thought patterns.
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