the main problem with conflict in a relationship is not that we are at odds with each other but rather the way we go about trying to resolve it. at best, this approach ends in a stalemate with each person feeling as though the other doesn’t understand them. this approach is used as a passive way to sidestep the potential explosiveness of a contentious issue. neither partner is willing to honestly acknowledge the problem or address it. unfortunately, the emotion associated with unresolved conflicts tend to accrue over time and this only sets you up for more explosive conflict later on. but, what might you be doing that is hindering efforts to resolve the issue?
are you raising your voice, talking down to your partner or shaming them in order to assume a one-up position in the disagreement? virtually any dead-end conflict can be dramatically turned around if one partner is willing to unselfishly put their views off to the side temporarily and listen carefully to the concerns of their spouse. for example, a couple is going round and round about an issue and the more they talk the more frustrated they both become because neither feels the other is truly listening. when an honest and sincere attempt is made to carefully listen and take your spouse seriously, it has the ability to disarm the defensive posture often taken in marital conflict. it is the emotional resolve that enables the relationship to move forward, feel close and be secure. perhaps in getting to that resolve to never be late with the bills, one spouse berated the other for their irresponsibility or for damaging their credit rating. a great way to do that is to use the skill learned in the second point above (putting your views aside and listening carefully to the feelings of your spouse).
however, for all of the reasons above, it is perhaps the most important pathway for the couple to practice and master. it is important to note that the giver of feedback is taking the risk of upsetting their mate to point out something that greatly needs to be recognized and addressed. if the couple desires, they can discuss it further, or it may be enough for the one who apologized to make a mental note to avoid that word. the first is called the “speaker-listener technique.” the speaker-listener technique is a simple but elegant technique which, if done properly, ensures that both parties will be fully and completely heard.
if either speaker has a large amount to say, it is good to break it up into chunks, and allow the listener to paraphrase back each chunk, before the next chunk is presented. after the entry is read, the partner writes a response, and again, the journal is given to or left for the other to see. each partner should spend 10 minutes or more reading and meditating on what the other is saying: try to step out of your own frame and into the other’s frame. gaining communication and conflict resolution skills eventually grants a tremendous sense of security to the couple, as if there is no conflict too large or tough, such that the couple cannot create a healthy dialogue about it.
it’s normal to have conflict in relationships. people are different, and their desires and needs will inevitably clash. resolving disagreements in a healthy conflict is rarely easy and never fun, but it can be used effectively to strengthen a relationship if approached with a willingness to own your part, listen unspoken issues can lead to problems or conflict “under the surface,” which need to be confronted and brought to the surface, so that they can, conflict in romantic relationships, conflict in romantic relationships, 3 helpful conflict resolution strategies for couples, couples conflict resolution worksheet, conflict in relationships.
understanding conflict. conflict can occur in a variety of ways in relationships. frequency, intensity, and underlying circumstances all shape the role and outcomes of conflict between two people who say they care but may not always act that way. conflict need not always lead to damage. challenge and disagreement within a relationship (romantic or otherwise) can encourage growth, deeper goals accept the termination of the relationship. develop the necessary skills for effective, open communication, mutually satisfying sexual intimacy, and we should instead use conflict as an opportunity—for personal growth and more intimate, happier relationships. the conflict turned into, how to resolve conflict in a relationship when both feel strongly, conflict resolution in relationships, unhealthy conflict in relationships, couples conflict resolution exercises, conflict resolution for couples pdf, 5 possible issues that lead to conflicts in relationships, love conflict meaning, conflict avoidance in relationships, conflict resolution questions for couples, conflict in a new relationship.
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