narcissistic people have a grandiose view of themselves that they work hard to maintain, and that makes them extremely self-focused. one defining feature of their romantic relationships is a reluctance to commit to their partners. their tendency to view partners as trophies to show off, rather than as companions with whom to build a relationship, may explain their lack of commitment. they also have a tendency to view other people, including their romantic partners, more negatively.
so a tendency to overvalue oneself and devalue one’s partner is likely to lead to the perception that there are plenty of other fish in the sea — fish who would be happy to date you and who are better than your current partner. this is consistent with the idea that those who think highly of themselves think they deserve the best when it comes to romantic relationships. in the final study, we tested to see if perceptions of oneself and one’s current partner might explain those attitudes toward alternative partners. all of this is consistent with the general idea that narcissists see their romantic partners as commodities to be traded in when something better comes along. there are many temptations to organize our life around the experience of earlier trauma.
i wrote to you about a year ago regarding a three year relationship i was in with a “great” guy who just wouldn’t commit – the typical commitment-phobe narcissist who we all know and love! and i get the impression that he is actively dating other people, although he will never admit to that. how do i end this once and for all and not get consumed with all the thoughts about what he’s doing, who’s he dating, what does she have that i don’t. the most simple answer here, michelle, is that when you find out why you believe you need to have someone like this in your life, you will be able to say no to him and let him go. i felt like my significant other came along to allow me to have the loving relationship i never had with my own dad. i also had a heart to heart with my dad and told him how he never protected me from the abuse of my mother and even made it worse by not allowing me to defend myself. i too am currently involved with a man who cannot committ, but is very loving, affectionate and attentive making it difficult to leave the relationship. he dislikes that i ask if he is being honest and faithful saying, ‘i don’t like to feel like i am getting the 3rd degree, you have to decide if you can be with me.” and he can express love and treat you well — during the periods in which he is able to conquer his feelings of fear and/or not feel the fear because the pressure is off. i guess my point is, ladies, with a true commitment phobic, these relationships can be so much more complicated than having picked someone who can’t love you and who is a jerk, so please don’t blame yourself as i have and add to the injury that these relationships cause to your self-esteem. the best way and effective way to find a way is to love your self first michelle i strongly believe that if a man loves you so much he gives the best for you.a best of what? you have got to work hard to take it back and give to yourself, but the truth is it works. i am in a similiar sitution than you and all i can say to you is let him go his not worth the heartache that you are going through……you deserve better.. you need to love yourself first in order take back your power back.
and jane is absolutely right…once you get to that place with yourself you open the door for the right kind of men. believe me…if i found the strength to change and grow, so can you! what matters is you’re free to be with someone who’s right for you in the ways that matter to you! yes i’ miss him and i’ll never forget the memories but i have to learn to love myself enough to accept what is and move forward. it’s when you realize this for yourself in the spirit of self-love and compassion for where you are on your own unique journey, that the reality of all of this becomes exactly that; real! the other day he was back to being cold and i finally snapped! i was in the exact situation with a noncommital man for over 7 years. now he wants us to get counseling; however he states i need it worse for my insecurities and he is sorry for “raising his voice” but i am the one with the delusional insecurities. but what you do with it is something that always up to you. but it finally became clear to me that he was one messed up dude ???? (not that i don’t have my issues) and one i needed to remove from my life. ???? only thing that comes to my mind is your obsessed with him because in your real life you are not satisfied! “where is the one”… but now i think no no.. i am going towards a healing way and seeing things positive. when we look back and see just how long we can live like this, it’s hard to believe we can measure it in years. we might have drawn them in, but realizing it and having the courage to remove them in our lives is a prove of strength.
is it possible to be a narcissist and to be a commitment-phobe too? narcissists prefer romantic partners that are physically attractive and high status, and are less concerned with how warm or caring those the commitment phobe has an inability to do that, so he runs. then he often comes back when the fear subsides and he realizes he wants to be, commitment phobe, commitment phobe, can a narcissist commit to a relationship, do narcissists grieve relationships, who are narcissists compatible with.
it’s also another trait of a commitment-phobe. narcissists do not feel good about themselves so they need a perfect person to bring them to a higher level. they’re terribly insecure and they cover it up with these grandiose fantasies. a commitment-phobe will never love-bomb you or tell you they love you. instead, they’ll run like hell if you try to get one to further commit or if you tell it would be easy for a woman to mistake a man that is afraid of commitment for a narcissist. in fact, a lot of the actions taken by both can part) is he was also a commitment-phobe, emotionally unstable, dishonest, because narcissists start off being mad charismatic and, anxiety after breakup with narcissist, narcissistic break, narcissist and affairs, narcissism 2021, psychologists narcissism, narcissism in psychology, what makes a narcissist happy, narcissist up and down, narcissists today, narcissist trophy girlfriend.
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