what i’m asking is: can you stay friends with someone you tested the dating waters with, but ultimately one of you decided you didn’t want to swim all the way to relationship island together and settle in a cabana for two? i explained this to him, and he said he understood but he wanted to be my friend after he took some time. but when i mentioned one night that i had gone out with someone a handful of times and it was going well, he got angry that i was dating other people. if i had to work late and cancel, same thing. but if you realize, “saying ‘let’s be friends’ is easier than admitting i just don’t want to be with her,” consider keeping that empty promise of friendship to yourself and leave the lass alone.
if it’s not, it’s preferable to be the “bad” guy and end your connection for good. and if you weren’t a friend to me before the romantic part, and the split is one-sided, why should you get that friendship a-game if you didn’t want my dating a-game? could the guy from my story and i have stayed friends if he hadn’t made me feel pretty terrible about myself for not wanting to date him every time we hung out, for example? that goes back to my point of why should you get my time and charm if you didn’t want date me, but in this case why should you get the privilege of seeing me naked if you don’t want to date me? not an “i secretly hope we’ll start dating if i sleep with them again,” agreement. it means reaching out on your own, even if it’s just to say “hey how’s it going.” and it means that if she suggests plans and you are free, you go hang out with your friend.
jessica engle is a relationship coach and psychotherapist based in the san francisco bay area. jessica is also a licensed marriage & family therapist and registered drama therapist with over 10 years of experience. a breakup can be heartbreaking and the inclination to stay friends is understandable. when someone was important to you romantically, it’s natural to want to hold on to that connection.
manage your emotions by reminding yourself the relationship is over. the end of a relationship can trigger strong emotions, so it’s important for you to keep them in check and set clear boundaries if you want to stay friends with someone you’ve dated. give each other some space for a few weeks or months after the break-up, which will help you both come to terms with your feelings. for example, you may find it far easier to accept that they have a different lifestyle to you when you’re just friends than you would in a relationship. remember to respect your ex’s boundaries too, since a friendship will only work if you treat each other well.
follow these tips for navigating the post-dating friendship waters: 1. do give it time. 2. don’t force it. 3. do be respectful of the other talk openly about boundaries. find a good time and place to have a calm, sit down talk about your boundaries in regards to a friendship. let your ex know yes, staying friends with someone you’ve dated is possible, and here’s how these four principles will help you protect your friendships and, being friends with someone you almost dated, being friends after dating reddit, being friends after dating reddit, being friends with someone you dated briefly reddit, when a guy just wants to be friends after dating.
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