in a healthy relationship, you ultimately want what’s best for your significant other. showing you care by sharing your opinion means you’re invested in the outcome, but it’s key that you understand how to give your partner advice without sounding negative or controlling. the way you advise your partner can affect how they hear the advice itself — and whether or not they take it to heart. choosing when and how to help your partner out can feel tricky, but it’s actually pretty simple. here’s how to advise your partner in a positive and productive manner. before you insert yourself into your significant other’s business, think about how you would react if you were in their position. “ask yourself if it were the other way around and your partner was treating you in the same manner, how would you perceive it? sometimes it’s best to let your partner work out the problem on their own.
“ask yourself if it’s advice that will serve your partner, or if it’s more for yourself,” says abrams. if you are also going to benefit from your partner taking your advice, then are you acting in their best interests, or your own? you shouldn’t be afraid to share your thoughts, but do it in a way that is respectful. “given too often, it could be seen as obnoxious and this won’t be good for the relationship.” even if you are confident about your recommendation, abrams says the best way to go about it is by asking, “would you like some advice?” there is one exception, and that is if you are worried about your partner’s health or well-being. “here, it is appropriate to express your concern in a loving and compassionate way,” says abrams. ask if they are open to hearing your opinion before you share it, and make sure the conversation is not one-sided.
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