or maybe you wanted some sympathy after a bad day at work, only to hear your partner criticize you. how do you fix a relationship problem? you need to see them and soothe them as a couple, so they resolve. amy wanted to keep just those things around the house they needed and used now. now amy doesn’t feel free to speak up about the “clutter” issue, though it still bothers her. but as a therapist trained in emotionally focused therapy (eft), my job is to help bob and amy see the unspoken thoughts and emotions at work. what do those thoughts mean to their sense of attachment as a couple? she needed bob to hear that his desire for “stuff” seemed to come first, and it made her feel unwanted. they took time to tend the hurts and put stress relief first. but more important, they learned how to take each other’s distress to heart, find the source, and assure each other they matter.
that’s why distress with a loved one needs to be resolved. deep down, relationship hurts trigger bigger questions: do i matter to you? but the key to fixing your relationship is to talk about what you need—not your partner’s faults. compare these to some healthier ways to fix a problem instead: don’t glare: don’t glower, grumble, or go silent to get a reaction. you don’t need to be perfect for each other to be happy together. you can do a lot to restore goodwill by repairing hurts. no one wants to invite ridicule or rejection by showing a tender need for love and acceptance. gently explaining your hurt is the first step to deepening your understanding together. you can learn to get your message through in a way that works with your need to connect, not against it. questions or concerns about the preceding article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment below. i hope it will really help to solve the problems of married people.
i suggest that you look at another option: refusing to react emotionally, taking a proactive stance, and preparing yourself before initiating a conversation with your partner. it’s like i feel like it would be better with a mediator to have between us, to kind of guide the conversation so that we both stay on topic and focused on resolving issues instead of just rehashing the past. i feel your pain, but i do think that if this is areally a relationship that you place a lot of value in and he does too, then the two of you can work through this. i have a new man in my life and i’m finding little things i’d like to talk about with him before it gets bad. i know exactly how you feel samantha and my partner is exactly the same. the next day we talked about everything that was said, and i agreed to work on my issues he pointed out. i would love for him to realize im feeling alone.. and i need him.
he gets so dam angry over a simple conversation about future plans that he threatens to leave me and tells me how horrible i am of a person. all i want from him is for him to tell me what he wants… simple as that. i am at a point where i just want to find an effective way to talk to him and for once get him to really listen and hear me out. my problem is that i’m willing to settle down and have a family but i have fears and doubts that maybe i’m being played. and 3) i believe that if ur partner is helping you out/ or guidling you to help manage your debt than he should know ur finances. when i pressed him on why he had hidden this from me he said he was worried i would not want to be with him and also that his partner before me had told him to not tell anyone new for the same reasons. if it is his ex partner i don’t feel comfortable with this familiarity on texts or similar and if not his ex partner then wondering…who the hell!?
unsettled problems are a major source of stress, stress that can not only undermine your relationship, but your diabetes management as well. basically, how do you want to talk about your issue? write down your points to keep your focus. choose an appropriate time and place to present talk to each other about what’s happening, and about what kind of support each of you needs. lean on each other instead of getting so caught up, .
productive, assertive, open, trusting, and respectful communications and using problem solving skills can help in resolving relationship issues. a relationship 1. accept the fact that you don’t have a perfect relationship. 2. talk about the problems that are affecting your relationship. 3. take some do you want to talk about how you feel your partner doesn’t listen? instead of saying, “you don’t listen,” say, “i feel unheard.” do you want your partner to, . how to bring up an issue in a relationshipexplain how it makes you feel. itsnotheritsme. take a collaborative approach. wait till your emotions level. take out any negatively-charged words. explain you want to have a discussion, not an argument. pull a “we need to talk” explain what the real issue is. use “i” not “you”
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