a study published by cornell university found that communication is the number one trait of marriages that last. the majority of the participants said they believed that most marital problems could be resolved with open communication. in the same study published by cornell university, researchers found that a sense of commitment is a key factor in long-lasting marriages. commitment is the glue that holds your marriage together. when it comes to maintaining a good marriage, the old adage is true: “a little kindness goes a long way.” in fact, researchers at the university of washington created a formula for predicting how long a marriage would last, with a whopping 94 percent accuracy.
applying kindness and generosity to marriages and long-term committed relationships may be a little more complex, but the basic “golden rule” should still be applied. rather than tune him or her out, work on how to truly listen to your spouse, even if you find the topic of conversation mundane. the key to accepting your partner for who he or she is, is to accept yourself for who you are. this is not to say that everyone has to be “in love” with their spouse. this isn’t to say that a loving marriage can’t be passionate; on the contrary, passion is what vitalizes the relationship.
what does it take to have a happy marriage that stays happy over several decades? he found this very reassuring because it meant that there really is a formula to having a happy marriage. in a way, that feeling of solidity and trust is the opposite of wild passion because wild passion always has uncertainty at its core. and that’s ok. couples can disagree about a lot, but the real trouble starts when one stops respecting the other. manson refers to respect as the bedrock of a relationship and i think that’s exactly right.
so learn to fight fair, and in a way that does not inflict lasting wounds. so you may have to be deliberate about making time to be with your spouse to do things together that are fun, as well as the things you need to do. if you’re in a relationship that isn’t working and doesn’t fulfill you, or your spouse can’t be the partner you need, then you may need to make a difficult choice about leaving. but if you’re in the relationship and you want it to work, then you need to choose to be there. you choose to commit to your spouse, and then you choose again and again. a solid partnership can be the foundation on which everything else you do is built, so you must make it your top priority at least some of the time, and always when it needs to be.
guided marriage counseling and parenting support for today’s couples and families. build a healthier, happier relationship and family life with the lasting couples with long-lasting marriages talk to each other without lying, accusing, blaming, dismissing, and insulting. they do not stonewall each the secret to a lasting marriage? here’s what 1,500 happy couples have to say 1. there’s a difference between love and romantic passion. don’t, .
trust fully in your spouse trust is a major indicator of a resilient marriage and one of the most important things to keep strong in a marriage. if trust is broken or taken away, long-term work will have to be put in to redeem the relationship, and the trust may never come back. from world war ii to great-grandchildren, these couples have endured the true tests of time thanks to an enduring love and communication. commence your marriage with the idea that you will both work together on “being married” every day. being married is not a state of being; it is, . 7 signs your marriage will lastyou’re best friends. your partner is the one you want to call when things are awesome or awful. you enjoy spending time together. you have each other’s backs. you can be honest. the relationship is easy. you want the best for each other. you still think he’s the cutest person in the room. eighteen qualities that help make a marriage last:trust. our marriage space is sacred and private.restraint. we resist temptation and remain true to each other.intimacy. we are open with each other.priorities. we both put our marriage first.difference. sameness. communication. fairness.
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